Despite the fact that you have attended roughly 20 Thanksgiving dinners in your lifetime, you were yet again surprised this year when the holiday left you far less rested and much more stressed than you had been beforehand.

As you left campus last Friday you were sure that a week-long break would give you ample time to catch up on homework and beauty sleep. Those dreams were crushed when you returned home not to your cozy, quiet home but to a house full of bitter, elderly relatives.

“What classes are you taking this semester?” they each asked individually. “What about next semester? And what classes did you take last semester?”

They then added, “Out of all the classes you have taken or intend to take, which is or will be your favorite and why?”

When you attempted to take refuge in your bedroom, you instead found it occupied by that one weird cousin from the South who your mom thinks is your best friend because you have the same birthday. You were unable to use your computer for the rest of your visit while he borrowed it to download the entire “Bonanza” series.

Halfway through the week, you came to the realization that there are only three weeks left before final exams, during which you must complete four research papers and two group projects  — all of which you had been delaying all semester. You subsequently lay awake all night cursing your poor planning. The mental aguish was only worsened the next morning when your mother bragged to the entire family about how proud she is of you and expressed her anticipation of seeing your name on the Dean’s List.

“I’ll bet professors just love having a student like you,” she said, her voice bubbling with unconditional love. “Not like those students you hear about in the news who spend all their time doing the beer pong.”

After returning to your dorm, you spent the next several days sorting through the trash on your floor looking for assignment descriptions and reading schedules and thinking up fake family tragedies in order to guilt your professors into extensions.

“If Uncle Brian/Grandma/Spike doesn’t win his case/pull-through/turn-up, I don’t know what I’ll do,” you said through tears after class. “I can already tell it’s going to be a rough holiday season for me.”