These are the laws of physics working against the six varsity, 11 club and 70 intramural teams that milk those hours and gyms from well before sun up to well after sun down for everything they’ve got every single day.

With that many teams and so little space, it’s like a 7-year-old seeing how many grapes he can fit in his mouth. Eighty-seven grapes later, he’s either quit, gone home or choked his way to the emergency room.

Not in the Hill Center.

Block I of the spring semester marks the most difficult 10-week scheduling of the year. With snow on the ground, spring sports need the inside space just as badly as the in-season winter sports.

But Assistant Athletic Director Ernie McClatchie somehow gets it done.

“It’s tough,” he said, putting it mildly. “There are a lot of things in a short amount of time.”

The basketball teams get the gyms for those prime hours of 4 to 8 p.m. Then the gyms are reserved for all home games and any special events. By the time McClatchie sits down with the spring sports coaches, the calendar has more blackout dates than a reward miles vacation.

“I thank God we’re a winter sport,” Women’s Basketball Head Coach Dan Raymond said.

McClatchie knows all the rules. Lacrosse can’t do anything with just one gym, so during basketball practices, baseball and softball use the third gym’s batting cages.   

Softball gets the rest of its practice hours between 5 and 8 a.m. and the lacrosse teams find their time usually from 10 p.m. to midnight. Finally, club teams and intramurals fill in the rest.

For McClatchie’s sake, you hope his wife takes care of his kids’ after school schedules.

What could be a contentious situation, though,  is taken care of surprisingly peacefully. These coaches aren’t all talk when they preach teamwork on the court.

“We look after each other,” said Deb Pallozzi, softball head coach. “Everyone respects each other.”

The saving grace to everyone’s headaches could be coming next spring, when a new athletic and entertainment facility, complete with a lighted turf field and a lot more gym space, is set to be finished — at least, in theory.

McClatchie should find some relief, and all the spring coaches will finally be able to focus more on X’s and O’s.

“It will really make a tremendous difference in our quality of life,” said Karen Hollands, women’s lacrosse head coach.  

And the best part is they won’t even have to break the laws of physics.