The Academy of Hard Knocks

There’s not much I can say about the Oscars seeing as I had to “watch” it via live blog. Nothing was too surprising to me, though I’m sure lots of people were shocked that “The Hurt Locker” won over “Avatar.” Aside from it being the highest grossing film (OF ALL TIME), “Avatar” not as impressive as many made it out to be. Visually stunning, yes. Experimental, yes. Good film/script? No. It lacked where most Best Pictures of the past decade had. It was, in a way, the “Dark Knight” of this group of nominees, though it wasn’t half as good.

As far as acting awards go, there were no surprises. Sandra Bullock who will, as my roommate puts it, “probably never get a shot at this again” deserved her award after playing a deeply emotional role. She must feel strange winning it over two powerhouses of acting chops, Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep, though.

While nibbling my nails in front of my computer screen, I realized how good of a year it was for movies. The 10 nominees for Best Picture reflected a wide array of films — comedies and dramas alike — that reaffirm the thriving success of the film industry.

It’ll be a long, rough night for James Cameron, though. Kathryn Bigelow has bragging rights until he suggests the next film she should direct. Look what you did, James. Love hurts.

Will The Real Alice Kingsley Please Stand Up?

Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” was, dare I say, too safe. The movie combines two nonsensical books (”Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” and “Through The Looking-Glass“), but only treads the surface of the madness I was hoping Burton would delve into. No, I’m not talking about American MacGee’s blood-covered psycho maniac Alice. I’m talking about the complete and utter brilliance that lies in the confusion the book is centered on. I wanted to walk out of “Alice” in a trippy daze. I wanted to experience vibrant colors and nostalgic moments. Instead, I walked out in a trippy daze, but not for the right reasons. I had experienced yet another Tim Burton semi-gothic, pale-faced approach to an otherwise lively tale — a back and forth between extremely dark and strangely morbid and overly bright to the point of insanity.

Don’t get me wrong, his “Alice” wasn’t bad. What it lacked was the excitement and buoyancy that makes the story of Alice’s journey so compelling. Burton was quoted as saying that he wanted to make the story more of a narrative, but I say FIE! Alice was meant to be nonsense! Making it into a cohesive story takes the fun out of it. Maybe that’s just me.

The best acting is seen through Helena Bonham Carter’s wonderful portrayal of The Red Queen/Queen of Hearts (her character definitely pulls from both characters which are, in fact, different). She plays the perfect mix of bipolar, nice, furious, angsty, jealous, amused and self-indulgent. No wonder Tim loves her so.

Johnny Depp had his moments. His choices of shifting accents and composed eccentricity were true to the Mad Hatter. Yes, Depp was able to add more of a humanistic side to the madman, but his time on screen wasn’t nearly sufficient enough to develop the complex character he attempted to create.

Mia Wasikowska as Alice was almost a complete bore. She is definitely a Burton staple: pale, nearly devoid of emotion, but with a demure personality. Her performance just sort of faded into black.

The fine moments of good acting and pithy humor don’t sustain through the whole film and left me still waiting for an iconic movie version of “Alice.” The cartoon didn’t do it, the countless made-for-TV movies haven’t done it either.

Now I feel like I’ll have to wait another 10 years for the version that will do the story justice. This one came the closest.

It’s About Time…

I just ordered my 52-issue subscription to Entertainment Weekly, my go-to source for entertainment news, TV updates, pop culture news coverage, etc. It’s also a place I’d love to contribute to at some point in my life. So, why did it take me so long to send off the check for my packaged zines? Technology, that’s why.

The ease in reading the same articles online that would appear in print (for the most part) make buying an actual magazine in a college seem futile. BUT, I have turned a new leaf. How can I say that I am strongly grounded in the idea that print journalism will live to see halfway into the new millennium if I don’t contribute? So, I rolled up my sleeves, saved up and renewed both my EW and New York Times subscriptions.

I am putting my two cents in (or actually, a total of nearly $100) … what can you do? Remember, holding a magazine is much more soothing and awesome than staring at a 15-inch screen.

We Are the World

To raise money for Haiti, a stunning compilation of musical artists got together to reprise Michael Jackson’s “We Are the World.” It’s definitely an accurate representation of music’s evolution—Auto Tune included, of course. And I can’t deny that it’s remarkable to see all these wonderful singers and performers gather. Check out the video below to see and hear the awesomeness.

A Nomination For You…And For You…Oh And You, Too.

Oscar is being pushed past his limits this year. He must feel aggravated. Without much of a warning, he was woken up in the middle of what was probably a relaxing pre-awards season nap, stretched to the point of his golden skin shedding from the surface of his gleaming figure and left to stand under glaring stage lights—not a single tear shed in deep-rooted sympathy.

In what I see as a decision driven mainly by a desire for higher ratings, more profit and assuring nods from network affiliates, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced last June that it would have 10 nominations for Best Picture instead of a modest 5. With the nominations out and the show itself coming up, this decision is looking more and more ridiculous.

Have you ever seen “For Your Consideration?” I’ve been posting clip after clip on my Facebook and talking to everyone and their pet beagle about it. It’s a film by comedic genius Christopher Guest (”Waiting for Guffman,” “A Mighty Wind,” “Best in Show”). The film/mockumentary focuses on a troupe of independent film actors who get wind of a possible Oscar nomination for one of the leading ladies, Marilyn Hack, who, you guessed it, is actually a terrible actress (not Catherine O’Hara who plays her, though—she’s a goddess). Look me in the eye and tell me that it would be just as surprising and rewarding for poor old Marilyn to find out her film was nomination among 9 OTHERS.

Not only does this bump in nominations tarnish the image and accomplishment of being nominated, but it makes the Academy look bad. And, not to mention, announcing 10 nominees just totally goes against the Oscar’s strict time policy. I’m hoping they direct the conductor to drown out the announcer if they take their precious time. Or the winner:

“I’d like to thank and congratulate the other 9 nominees individually…[and...cut]“

All I’m wondering now is who snubbed “Where The Wild Things Are.”

Golden Globe Mania

So, the Globes are tomorrow and what better way to prepare than to make some partially uninformed predictions? I can honestly say that no matter what, the Golden Globes may not even matter this year—as far as future predictions go. They’re normally a pretty good gauge at who/what will be nominated at the Oscars, but with room for 10 nominations in each of the Oscar categories, who really cares at this point? You know they’ll all get nominated and that didn’t stop us from seeing them. Anywho, here we go:

*predication for winner
actual winner in italics

Best Motion Picture, Drama
*Avatar
 Inglourious Basterds
The Hurt Locker
Precious
Up in the Air

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
(500) Days of Summer
*The Hangover
 It’s Complicated
Julie & Julia
Nine

Best Actor, Motion Picture, Drama
*Jeff Bridges, “Crazy Heart”
 George Clooney, “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth, “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman, “Invictus”
Tobey Maguire, “Brothers”

Best Actor, Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
*Matt Damon, “The Informant!”
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Nine”
Robert Downey Jr., “Sherlock Holmes”
 Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “(500) Days of Summer”
Michael Stuhlbarg, “A Serious Man”

Best Actress, Motion Picture, Drama
Emily Blunt, “The Young Victoria”
*Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”
 Helen Mirren, “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan, “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe, “Precious”

Best Actress, Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Sandra Bullock, “The Proposal”
Marion Cotillard, “Nine”
Julia Roberts, “Duplicity”
Meryl Streep, “It’s Complicated”
*Meryl Streep, “Julie & Julia”

Best Drama Series
Big Love
Dexter
House
*Mad Men
 True Blood

Best Comedy Series
*30 Rock
Entourage
Glee
Modern Family
The Office

Best Actor, TV Drama Series
Simon Baker, “The Mentalist”
Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”
 *Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”
Hugh Laurie, “House”
Bill Paxton, “Big Love”

Best Actress, TV Drama Series
Glenn Close, “Damages”
January Jones, “Mad Men”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
 Anna Paquin, “True Blood”
*Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer”

‘Conan’ Drama: Not the Talk Show Host This Time

A “Conan the Barbarian” remake is in the works and guess who’s one of the top contenders to star as the leading destroyer himself?

“Twilight” star Kellan Lutz is apparently up for the task of taking on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s brutish legacy and he’s been auditioning for producers lately, in talks to headline in this “younger” version of the story. Jason Momoa is up for the part as well and it’s still up in the air as to whether Lutz’s “Twilight” schedule will interfere with his chances.

Lutz didn’t get much screen time in either “Twilight” flicks and I haven’t seen him in anything else, so it’s hard to say if acting-wise this guy has the tough-as-nails attitude down (he grimaces a lot in “Twilight,” but him and his male vamp pals also wear hints of manliner and makeup). Even his bod isn’t as gloriously muscled as Arnold’s. Then again, we’ve already seen what a few months and some rigorous gym trainers can do for stars of the “Twilight” saga.

Jan. 22, 2010 | UPDATE: Looks like potential is not enough to land you a role in a muscle-necessary film. Jason Momoa has been cast as Conan the Barbarian, but I’m sure Lutz isn’t too shaken. He’s still got 2 (or 3) more movies on his plate in the Twilight Saga. Enough to pay the rent, for sure.

Gary Coleman is Doing Okay

Gary Coleman was released from the hospital Wednesday night after checking into a Los Angeles-area emergency room. Fits of vomiting and a minor seizure accompanied his visit, but now the Diff’rent Strokes star is setting his attention on his latest movie, “Midgets vs. Mascots.” He met with producers recently to show his opposition to the inclusion of a shot of someone’s *ahem* Johnson on screen. Speculation is that this member belongs to Coleman himself.

I don’t know why anyone would even think of popping that image on a screen. Just makes me want to cry. At least Gary’s okay, though.

Christmas and Me

My sister keeps getting things, mainly hairbrushes from her never-ending assortment of dolls, stuck in her hair and she cries rivers to let us know that she needs help to yank them out. My cousin won’t stop badgering me about playing video games on my computer and his sister, forever his cohort, can’t help but be precious and adorable—though she attempts to be just as equally persistent as her big bro (don’t ever take her Barbie away from her). My mom made breakfast and when I finished, Lady Gaga’s “Christmas Tree” was the first video I went to watch on YouTube. Snow this year was replaced with rain and our two African Grey parrots understand the importance of yelling above the sound of pounding rain outside.

Two hours later, “Marley and Me” helped remind me what it means to love things—like all the aforementioned—in spite of their flaws. Well, it wasn’t the first time I learned that lesson, but everyone needs an HBO pick-me-up every once in a while. My Christmas so far, though it has been an everlasting tip-of-the-hat to my obsession with pop music and cheesy movies, has been decent. Ring in the cheer and stuff. I plan to be in bed by 9. I’m still on break. Happy Holidays!

Brittany Murphy

News of Brittany Murphy’s death came to me shortly after it happened and I honestly didn’t know how to take it. I’ve never really followed her career to any extent and the movies that immediately come to mind when I think of her are “Uptown Girls”—I saw it once…It was cute—and “Clueless,” of course.

If anything, Murphy’s death made me realize, yet again, how short life is. 32. Damn. How clichéd, you may think. Well, it’s true. All I can say is Rest In Peace. It’s just weird. Confusing and just…weird. And why can’t more respectable news sources break these deaths? It’s like TMZ has reporters follow these poor people in dire times just to break news. What am I saying?

Of course that’s what they do.

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