Get a grip on reality!
Holy crap. I couldn’t ask for a better birthday present from my old friend Television. At 8 p.m. tonight on Fox News, Bill O’Reilly is going to debate ALF! Don’t believe me? Just check O’Reilly’s official Web site.
Hungry for more? I guess you’ll just have to watch it. And love it.
Tilaaaa, you got some ’splainin to do!
I already kind of assumed there was a lot of acting going on in “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.” The impeccably choreographed Brandi/Vanessa fight, and, of course, every ridiculous line spoken by Domenico … but according to Page Six, there’s a whole lot more acting than I even realized. This came from a source reportedly close to Tila:
Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she’s not really bi. She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all.” Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she’s single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, “who’s like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That’s why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won’t dump him.
I feel like this should bother me more than it does. I mean, sure it would suck to find out my new favorite addiction is a complete sham. But after the scene in last week’s episode where Tila gave Dani’s grandmother a lap dance, I decided it’s still fantastic TV, real or not.
Let’s hope “That’s Amore!” has a little more integrity.
P.S. Can we discuss how weird Tila looks with no make-up? Sharp Notes blogger Bill almost vomited the other week after everyone got out of the chocolate pudding pool and Tila wiped herself clean ? including her make-up. Seriously, he hasn’t been the same since.
That Marie Osmond … such a doll
She may not have won “Dancing With the Stars,” but that isn’t stopping Marie Osmond from selling little dolls of herself dressed in outfits she wore on the show.
The worst part is that these aren’t the first Osmond dolls that have been sold. My aunt bought a Donny and Marie set a few years ago, and they sit proudly on her mantel. Every time we go there for dinner, I feel like Marie steals a small piece of my soul. … And then faints.
The 2010 Winter Olympic mascots have won the gold medal … in CUTENESS!
The official mascots for the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver were announced today! And they’re as confusing as they are adorable.
Quatchi
As his name suggests, Quatchi is a sasquatch. His hobbies include trudging through the snow, having absurdly long arms and lurking in the shadows while taking pictures of strangers playing hockey. Yeah, I said it ? Quatchi’s a creep.
Sumi?
Described on the Web site as an “animal spirit,” Sumi is basically a grab bag of a bunch of different creatures. He’s furry, he’s fashionable and he can fly. Don’t try to rationalize it; just accept it as truth and move on with your life.
Miga
The story of Miga is perhaps the most complicated: He was originally an orca whale, but his desire to walk on land caused him to magically evolve into some sort of whale-bear hybrid. He’s cute, but I’m sure those haters at “The 700 Club” will still try to lynch him for going against creationism.
Now that we’ve had some fun, click here to see what the mascots are really all about.
Roundup: ‘Toxic’ mash-ups
YouTube has given us so many simple pleasures over the years: The sneezing baby panda, the hand-holding otters and the infamous Chris Crocker freakout to name just a few. But there is a whole subculture of YouTube DJs that I haven’t been paying nearly enough attention to. The little spinsters mix and mash some of the most random songs…yet somehow make it work.
And speaking of random, here are some mash-ups of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” and some, uh, interesting choices:
- “Toxic” + The B-52s’ “Love Shack”
- “Toxic” + Gwen Stefani’s “What You Waiting For?”
- “Toxic” + Linkin Park’s “Faint” (not my personal favorite)
- “Toxic” + Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name” (this one kind of works the best)
And for old time’s sake, the original. In all its glory:
It’s really happening!!!
Once again, the TV gods have heard my plea. Domenico is getting his own reality spin-off show! Here’s the casting notice sent out by MTV:
[GORGEOUS FEMALES] MTV is now seeking gorgeous females at least 21 years old who have the looks, outrageous personality and heart to win the love of MTV’s very own Italian stallion Domeico Nessi! Dominico wants his shot at love, and the search is on for his very own American sweetheart, a girl he can bring home to Mama!
We are casting the best America has to offer, so we’re looking for all types, Southern Belles, Big City Socialites, West Coast Surfer Girls, Sexy Farmers’ Daughters, and Beauty Queens so if you’re single, look hot in a bikini, and can hold your wine get ready for the Italian romantic adventure of a lifetime apply electronically now!
I’m really excited. Can you tell?
Writers strike swag: Get it while it’s hot!
I know the writers strike has caused us all so much pain (especially you late-night fans), but fear not! More negotiation talks have been scheduled for November 26th. So, who knows — this strike may be over sooner than we thought. In the meantime, head over to “Writers Strike Swag,” where Writers Guild Association member Tom Smuts offers a few different ways to show your support.
There are three different things sold on the site: spaghetti strap tank tops; t-shirts (shown on the left), which I just ordered myself :); and little red bracelets that read “No justice, no scripts.”
All proceeds go to the WGA’s Union Solidarity Fund to “help non-WGA members affected by the strike.”
Never again, Kelly
Hey, world! I hope you had a fun Thanksgiving. And for your sake, I hope you didn’t catch Kelly Clarkson’s unfortunate performance during the Jets/Cowboys halftime show. I almost never watch football games … and now I remember why.
I feel bad because it’s obvious she’s not feeling well and is losing her voice, but even still … the performance bears an uncanny resemblance to a cat being run over by a truck. And that’s just an upsetting thought all together.
Here’s a video of Kelly performing “Since U Been Gone.” It gets real bad during the bridge. Poor Kelly.
You done us wrong, Tila!
I have a confession to make: I am shamelessly addicted to “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.” When Domenico’s shot at love ended on last night’s episode, I thought I was going to cry. For those of you who don’t watch the show, just imagine what you’d get if you combined equal parts Borat, Luigi (of Mario and Luigi), and Jemaine and Bret from “Flight of the Conchords.” Yes, such a person exists — and his name is Domenico.
So here’s my open letter to MTV and the producers of “A Shot at Love”:
Dear so-and-so, PLEASE for the love of God give Domenico a spin-off show. We already know that Tila won’t be back for a second season (she apparently found true love). Domenico can be for “A Shot at Love” what New York was for “Flavor of Love.” I know I’d tune in every week to watch that little man look for the right woman — someone who can treat him with respect, show him a good time … and maybe help improve his english.
I’ve even got a name for it! “Republic of Domenico.” Eh? Eh?? …. OK, fine, I’m still working on the name.
Joe Jonas, you are a clumsy fool
I missed the American Music Awards last night, but was more than happy to get a voicemail from Sharp Notes blogger Bill: “Did you see one of the Jonas Brothers trying to be really cool…and then fall?” Sadly I didn’t. And YouTube did a pretty good job of taking down any and all video evidence. I manage to snag a photo from one, though.
Blurry enough for ya? Anyway, Joe Jonas’ fall during the AMAs is apparently just a piece of the brothers’ history of onstage bloopers. At a concert earlier this month in at a show in San Francisco, Kevin took a nasty little spill during a performance of “Hold On.” Check out that video here.
His brothers just stand there both times and don’t try to help. Kind of reminds me of my other favorite fall:
Feed for The Big Spoon