Sarah Michelle Gellar still wants to paint Wonderland red
Despite studio issues, Sarah Michelle Gellar insists that she will still be starring (hopefully as the title role) in “Alice.” In an interview with RadioFree.com, Gellar expresses her determination to make the movie. She also voices some of her concerns:
It’s a story that I’d love to see. I’m fearful at this rate that I’m going to be the Queen of Hearts because I’m going to be too old to be Alice. [laughs] … And contrary to what you may have read, it’s still my project and I’m still working diligently. … And if I have to get down and write it myself one of these days, I may have to…
But this isn’t the Wonderland you remember from Disney’s 1951 trip-fest. Believe it or not, it’s even more twisted! The movie is based on the “Alice” video game, described below:
The Queen of Hearts cruelly rules the land, the White Rabbit is tattered, the Cheshire Cat sports a pirate earring and a mangy, emaciated look, and the Mad Hatter is even madder than before. Alice, armed with her characteristic politeness, athletic ability, and a large knife, must venture through this dark Wonderland righting wrongs while thwarting the Queen and her army of playing-card guards.
How intense does that sound?? I say let Teri Hatcher play the Queen of Hearts. After seeing her in costume at a fund raiser last Halloween, I think you’ll all agree she’d fit the movie’s terrifying theme.
As if reality TV wasn’t enough of a circus already
Gimmicky reality shows tend to come in waves. Just look at ABC’s “Wife Swap” and Fox’s “Trading Spouses,” or ABC’s “Super Nanny” and Fox’s “Nanny 911.” But no one could have predicted the gimmick behind the next wave of reality shows: the circus.
Variety reports that both NBC and ABC are planning to get into the reality circus game in the near future. NBC’s version is called “Celebrity Circus,” while ABC will be putting up “Circus of the Stars,” which is actually a remake of a CBS show that ran from 1977 to 1994. The original “Circus of the Stars” is described as a show “in which celebrities performed circus-type acts” (thanks, Wikipedia!)
Just think about it: a bunch of (probably washed up) celebrities in silly outfits doing tricks on national TV? That’s entertainment in its purest form.
Another Broadway-focused reality show? Really?
“Legally Blonde: The Musical” is looking for a new Elle — and it’s getting a little help from MTV.
Like last year’s “You’re The One That I Want” — the NBC reality show that cast the roles of Danny and Sandy in the revival of “Grease” — MTV will be doing the same for “Legally Blonde.” For those of you who are unfamiliar with the musical, just imagine the original movie, take away most of the humor and add in a bunch of singing. Yeah, it’s awesomely bad.
I’d love to keep making fun of the show — except I’m probably going to end up watching it, so I don’t want to look like a hypocrite.
‘Smokin hot chicks!’
Now that my blog has been re-titled “The Big Spoon Goes to L.A.” I figure I should probably write a little more about my experiences out west. And here’s the first that I’m sure you’ll all love. It’s a commercial that is simultaneously the best and worst thing I’ve ever seen. And it’s on all the time on local TV out here. It’s for The Valley Ball, a super classy trashy strip club.
Don’t even pretend like you don’t love it.
Good news: New York is still entertaining in real life
The rumors about New York having a sex tape offend her … as a black woman, for some reason.
The reality TV goddess opened up to People earlier today about the whole ordeal:
I was floored. … I thought, ?I have to clear this up.? It saddened me as a woman and as a black woman.
She also said she could never have gotten through it without the money love and support of her girl man Tailor Made:
I told him what happened and he said, ?I stand by you.?
No, you didn’t misread that. Tailor Made talks in real life the same way he does on the show. I was afraid that the end of “I Love New York 2″ would also mean the end of New York’s ridiculous behavior — but after this little item, I’m convinced she doesn’t need a TV show to entertain the world.
…But seriously, Vh1, I would appreciate a show about New York and Tailor Made’s wedding. And so would America.
Are the Image Awards supposed to be this funny?
Oh, award show season — the one time of year when actors get to devote entire evenings to patting themselves on the back. And with so much hype surrounding the big events (Oscars, Golden Globes, etc.) it’s easy to forget about the smaller shows. The NAACP Image Awards, for example, specialize in honoring the work of minority artists.
But after looking at the nominees, I can’t help but wonder: Does anyone really consider it an honor to win one of these? Browse through this list of nominees and please try not to laugh out loud.
- Outstanding Comedy Series: “Girlfriends” (No, they haven’t canceled this yet).
- Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series: Jennifer Beals for “The L Word” (I don’t actually know who this actress is, but I’m assuming she exists only in the hopes that someone will confuse her for Jessica Biel). (Edit: I’ve been put in my place. Apparently Jennifer Beals also starred in “Flashdance.” Thanks, Erin. And sorry for insulting your religion).
- Outstanding Actress in a Daytime Drama Series: Brook Kerr and Tracey Ross are both nominated for their work on “Passions” (I may secretly love this show, but God knows neither of these actresses should be encouraged).
- Outstanding Talk Show: “Real Time with Bill Maher” (…Should someone tell the Image Awards people that Bill Maher is white? …Like, really, really white?)
- Outstanding Actor in a Motion Picture: Columbus Short for “Stomp The Yard” (If you’re unaware of the ridiculousness of this movie, just read Miranda K. Pennington’s review. Sums it up pretty nicely).
OK, really I could go on for days — but I have a pretty short attention span. I understand that the Image Awards were created in a time when minorities weren’t given as much credit for their work, but I think we’ve become more culturally diverse since then. It’s one thing to honor worthy performances, but when you have to reach this far to scrounge up nominees, it just isn’t worth it.
Yeah, I said it — the Image Awards have jumped the shark.
Belinda Gavin: porn star/aspiring American Gladiator
So here I am — minding my own business and enjoying a new episode of one of my latest addictions “American Gladiators.” The men have just competed in their first event and the women are introduced. When the first female contestant, Belinda Gavin, is introduced, I’m struck by a thought: I know I’ve seen her before — and with a little assistance from my old buddy Google, I confirmed my suspicions.
Aside from competing on “American Gladiators,” Belinda Gavin is an accomplished actress in the adult film industry. While she’s acted in a number of different pictures, one of the most demanding was 2005’s “Bikini Round-Up,” in which Gavin had to really stretch herself as an actress to play the ghost of Western legend Calamity Kate.
Don’t ask me why I was able to recognize her so quickly — the focus is on Belinda here.
Edit: The episode just ended. And Belinda lost. 
Sorry Ms. Gavin! We were all rooting for you.
Edit #2: Click here to read an exclusive interview I did with Belinda.
‘Harry Potter’ series gets an eighth movie
I’ve always said those “Harry Potter” books were too damn long.
The Daily Mail is reporting that “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” will be released as two films instead of condensing the story into one. People behind the film are claiming that the split is solely due to artistic reasons. On her Web site, J.K. Rowling said:
It is simply impossible to incorporate every storyline into a film under four hours long.
A week ago, I would say that four hours is too long for a movie … but that was before I sat through a six-hour taping of “According to Jim.” If I was able to survive that, I think Harry Potter fanatics would be just fine.
This is worse than Nick and Jessica’s Christmas special
If you’re going to do a variety show, don’t you need to have a variety of talents?
Page Six is reporting that “American Idol” joke Sanjaya Malakar is in talks to get his own show with his sister Shyamali. They’re reportedly pitching the idea to MTV. To make matters worse, Sanjaya is also working on a CD, though I can’t imagine what label would actually sign him.
I’ve learned to stop trusting Page Six, but this potential trainwreck is too much fun to ignore — especially if they do Bollywood!
‘Celebrity Rehab’ is the ultimate guilty pleasure
I just finished watching the first episode of Vh1’s new series “Celebrity Rehab” and … wow. WOW!
Though I feel like a terrible person for it, I haven’t laughed at a reality show this hard since “I Love New York 2″ ended just a few weeks ago. Almost every patient showed up either drunk or high on their first day and they all act like they’re in high school. There’s even the “class couple” (you know Mary Carey and Shifty Shellshock are going to hook up).
The best patient is easily Jeff Conaway. He will literally talk for a minute straight without uttering a single coherent sentence. He’s so the new Ozzy Osbourne. Plus, I’m just waiting for him to have a fit and start screaming “Grease lightning!”
There’s a PSA at the end of each episode to attempt to make up for the hour of laughs, but it’s beyond repair by that point.
New episodes of “Celebrity Rehab” air at 10 p.m. Thursdays on Vh1.
P.S. (yes, I’m writing this like a letter) Wouldn’t it be intense if they did a musical episode? Just think about it: Jeff Conaway was in “Grease,” Jessica Sierra and Shifty Shellshock are professional singers, and I’m pretty sure Chyna recorded a song at one point. … It’s just a thought.
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