Get back to work, Michigan J. Frog!
History lesson: No one watched The WB. That’s why it merged with the also-unwatched UPN to form the ultimate unwatchable network, The CW. But now WB execs are seeing the error of their ways and have decided to bring back The WB… through the magic of the Internet!
According to The Hollywood Reporter, WB.com will host free streaming episodes of WB-produced shows. Right now this list includes shows like “What I Like About You” (with one of the most attractive, yet least entertaining casts ever) and “Gilmore Girls” (the obnoxiously witty precursors to “Juno”).
I don’t know about you guys, but I think this is great news! I’ve always said the world really cannot survive without the ability to relive all 11 years of “7th Heaven.”
Nobody loves Raymond’s wife in a bikini
Good idea: going to the beach (come on, it’s 80 degrees in LA today).
Bad idea: going to the beach with “Everybody Loves Raymond”’s Patricia Heaton.
I don’t know what does it for me more: the Skeletor claws, or the Hulk-like stance.
This photo of the 50-year-old actress is from her recent vacation in Hawaii. 3NE has some info. on why she looks like a mutant:
Patricia has been very frank about going under the knife and basically reconstructing her entire body. She has admitted to having several procedures done, including a tummy tuck and breast lift. … She is rumored to have spent over $100,000 on the surgeries.
I just want to make it clear that I really have no remorse when it comes to making fun of people who have had plastic surgery. Why couldn’t she just age gracefully like her “Raymond” co-star Doris Roberts? Now that’s a hot piece.
Welcome back, Jessie Spano
I’m so excited! I’m so excited!
Elizabeth Berkeley (”Saved By the Bell,” “Showgirls”) is taking a break from her current gig — saving the world one girl at a time — to host a new reality show on Bravo. “Step it Up and Dance” will follow 12 dancers as they compete for the coveted “final call back” and $100,000 prize.
First Mario Lopez gets the hosting gig on MTV’s “America’s Best Dance Crew”, then “90210″ alum Ian Ziering becomes the host of Lifetime’s “Your Mama Don’t Dance” … and now Elizabeth Berkeley. Is there some secret ’90s teen star uprising I’m unaware of? Where are you hiding, Dustin Diamond?!
More recent photos of Elizabeth Berkeley:
Someone, anyone, please sink these boats!
Apparently the latest trend in the entertainment biz is to take the crappiest musical acts you can think of and ship them out onto the ocean. Here’s two examples just from today:
Danny Noriega: Danny may have (finally!) been voted off “American Idol,” but that isn’t stopping him from singing. In yet another baffling video blog entry, Rosie O’Donnell has invited the all-attitude-but-no-talent contestant to perform on her R Family Cruise next week. She says he’s “courageous” and wants to sing with him on stage. Um… I’m pretty sure the only courageous people in that scenario are the audience members.
“Toy Story: The Musical”: Along with Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” seven original songs have been written for the musical adaptation which will be premiering April 10 on the Disney Cruise Line. It’s not Broadway-bound yet, but if the show is a hit you can bet they’re going to consider transplanting it. Here’s how the show’s look is described:
The production utilizes “larger-than-life props [that] help transform the 977-seat Walt Disney Theatre into a toy-sized world of fun and adventure. A rear projection screen aids the transformation between human-sized and toy-sized scenes.
I guess that’s a pretty cool concept, but just think about it: a cowboy and a spaceman singing together on stage. … It’s like a slightly less gay version of the Village People.
New York is back!!!
Somehow I knew she wouldn’t be gone for long.
The Futon Critic is reporting that Vh1 has ordered a new reality show titled “New York Goes to Hollywood,” which will follow New York on her quest for stardom. I had guessed Vh1 would make a show about her wedding with Tailor Made, but in typical New York fashion, he may not even be in the picture anymore.
In order to focus on her new mission, New York has to put her last conquest, Tailor Made, on the back burner as she tries to take on Tinsel Town. She’s moving out west to see if she can climb the Hollywood ladder. Question is, will she reach for the stars or fall flat on her face.
Um… when has she not fallen on her face? New York has turned downing cranberry & vodkas into a fine art and that’s why we love her. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Kenickie not opposed to ‘Celebrity Rehab 2′
If last night’s season finale of “Celebrity Rehab” got you all misty-eyed (and if it didn’t, you’re a heartless monster), wipe your tears because I’ve got good news! According to a recent interview with Contact Music, Jeff Conaway is toying with the idea of returning to the loving arms of Dr. Drew.
“It’s not over, I’m gonna go back in.” The actor admits he no longer feels like a suicidal lost cause, thanks to Dr. [Drew] Pinsky’s treatment, and help from former Grease costar John Travolta, who has come to his aid since his rehab stint.
Normally I’m opposed to Scientology intervening in people’s lives (I’m kind of openly prejudice against Scientologists for being super silly), but I’ll take anything that will get Jeff Conaway back on TV. What can I say? I’m addicted.
Five questionable minutes of the ‘Little Mermaid’ threequel
Disney has released a five-minute preview of its very last (they promised!) direct-to-DVD sequel, “The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning.” For those of you who don’t feel like watching the whole thing (or any of it), here’s what we see:
- There’s a flashback of Ariel’s mother getting harpooned by fisherman. And that part will probably be the opening scene since Disney tends to enjoy killing parents off as quickly as possible.
- Ariel and Flounder run from the cops. OK, their crime was “making music” and they’re technically running from “fish cops,” but let’s focus on the big picture: Ariel is a hard-ass criminal.
- Sally Field’s character is the bitter babysitter of Ariel and her sisters. … And she has an obese manatee for a sidekick/manicurist, which is pretty cool with me. (See picture above).
- The mer-people get into some danger, but since it’s a prequel you know no one can die which sucks a little fun out of it. Sally Field’s character has a chance of dying, but like I pointed out before: Boniva makes you strong!
OK, that’s all from me. Here’s the full video for you truly brave/bored souls:
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Don’t make fun of me, but I secretly enjoy ‘One Tree Hill’
Before I begin, let me preface all of this by saying that “One Tree Hill” isn’t about to win any awards for its writing. It’s not bad writing — it’s just… impossibly emo. That being said, the show is addictive.
It doesn’t take lot to impress me; I’m pretty much a fan of anything over-the-top, and few shows do over-the-top as well excessively as “One Tree Hill.” Take this past Tuesday’s episode for example: Haley blows up at Nathan and threatens to end their marriage because she finds out he kissed their nanny. That sounds dramatic enough, right?… Wrong. While they’re fighting, their four-year-old son falls in the pool and almost drowns. And all the while, your ears are getting molested by an overly-dramatic emo ballad.
Plus the girls are really bitchy, and I find that amusing. Case in point:
Carrie: I need to get my stuff.
Haley: It’s in the garage. … Boxes are marked “Whore.”
Though, to be fair, Carrie is a whore.
Once thought to be the poor-man’s “The O.C.,” “One Tree Hill” is now in its fifth season (The CW recently decided to renew it for a sixth) and its 100th episode will air March 18th.
Oh! How could I forget? It also has Minkus from “Boy Meets World” on it… and Kevin Federline plays a rock star (and sings!)
Here come the Lohans
The long-awaited Lohan family reality show is coming to E! this summer, according to People. The show, titled “Living Lohan,” will follow “the Lohan matriarch as she juggles family life with business, attempting to launch 14-year-old daughter Ali?s entertainment career.” Yeah, yeah. That’s all well and good, but here’s my favorite part:
The program will also focus on Lindsay?s 11-year-old brother Cody and Michael, 20, who is in college.
“In college?” Would it have been so hard for them to say “Ithaca College?” Come on, People.
Paris Hilton continues to shine as a brilliant actress
The casting directors at “My Name is Earl” must have been slightly more impressed with Paris Hilton’s performance in “The Hottie and the Nottie” than the rest of the world. She will guest star (as herself) on the next new episode of the show, airing April 3. Here’s a description of her role from the NBC press release:
Earl (Jason Lee) is unconscious and various things from real life are bleeding into his unconscious mind — which viewers will see. Paris Hilton is one of those things in Earl’s fevered mind.
Please note the use of the word ‘fevered.’ They didn’t have to use it, but they did. Even NBC knows that wherever Paris Hilton goes, sickness is sure to follow.
Feed for Big Spoon
