Bugsy, I love you

I had the mixed pleasure of seeing Bedtime Stories, Adam Sandler’s first foray into family comedies, this past weekend. I say “mixed pleasure” because, while the movie itself made me want to drink from the no-no bottles under my kitchen sink, it did have one very special redeeming factor. And it’s name is Bugsy.

For those of you who don’t want to subject yourself to the movie — or are too lazy to look at the picture to the left — Bugsy is a poorly-animated CGI guinea pig with two huge eyes that are always bugging (oh, I get the name now) out of his head. He never really does anything useful to move the plot forward, but he is the perfect comic relief in the otherwise dramatic epic.

Bugsy must have done something right because Bedtime Stories came in at No. 2 for the weekend, grossing more than $28 million. God, I hope Disney makes a sequel all about Bugsy.

Please?

An historic(al) endorsement

I hope you’ve been enjoying your holidays, whatever they may be… No, seriously, all of them. Haha. I hope you’ve been surviving your families, too. And most importantly, I hope you’ve been enjoying lots of trashy TV.

And since I’m coming close to the end of my “December sabbatical” — I was actually just taking the time to recover after my run-in with Christine Baranski — I think it’s about time I weigh in on a very important issue going on in our world right now:

The ridiculous Twilight sequel casting rumble between Taylor Lautner and Michael Copon. 72 percent of People.com readers are on Team Taylor. Vote or die.

My thoughts? If Taylor can play the complex character of a child struggling with a half-man-half-shark identity (see Sharkboy and Lavagirl!) I think he can handle being a werewolf. So… Team Taylor?

Now don’t get me wrong. I gave Team Michael a thought, too. After all, how could I not at least consider a former Blue Power Ranger? The Blue ones usually find their ways. Phillip Jeanmarie, the guy who played the tranny on Passions, was also a Blue Ranger. And just look how that all worked out.

Save the drama for the E.R.

It sounds like the drama behind the scenes of Grey’s Anatomy is just as intense as the show’s storylines — and just as boring!

According to Crazy Days and Nights, an entertainment/law blog, T.R. Knight (aka George O’Malley) has unofficially quit the show. Lame storylines have been cited as the reasons behind his decision (no surprise there), and show creator Shonda Rhimes is apparently failing to get through to him.

This story seems suspicious, but not altogether ridiculous. Just think about the cast’s tumultuous history so far: Isaiah Washington was fired in 2007 after his infamous homophobic outburst, Brooke Smith was let go earlier this year when the network decided it didn’t like her character or her storyline, and let’s not forget the constant is-she-or-isn’t-she departing status of Katherine Heigl.

I’ve been a loyal viewer of this show since the beginning, but the last few years have been torture. Am I alone here?

Where’s Sisqo when you need him?

Now that Passions is (slowly being phased) out of my life forever, I need to find a new soap opera to give me the giggles.

Enter ABC’s All My Children. On last Wednesday’s episode, actor Cameron Mathison tarnished a super dramatic scene by standing up and revealing that he may or may not have been wearing a thong.

Fortunately The Soup was there (via a hilarious fan letter) to do the clip justice. Speak to us, Joel McHale:

Angels among us

Aaron Carter was Dlisted’s featured “Birthday Slut” on Sunday, reminding me of two things: First, I am the same age as Aaron Carter. And secondly, Aaron Carter is still alive.

But I’m not here to talk about Aaron Carter, or his incredible career. I think we should talk about Angel Carter, Aaron’s semi-secret twin sister. She, too, turned 21 this past weekend.

I tried to find a video of Angel Carter to throw on here, but they were all either boring (fan vids, ugh!) or creepy (Nick Carter’s “Angel in My Bed?” No thanks). So in lieu of anything remotely relevant, here is a clip of Lynda Carter’s 2007 film Tattered Angel. You’ve come a long way, Wonder Woman.

Date with destiny

I’ve written obsessively about her for months now, but last weekend I finally came face-to-face with the golden goddess herself, Ms. Christine Baranski.

It was a spur of the moment encounter — some friends and I were walking through New York and passed the theater where CB is currently performing in Boeing-Boeing. Knowing that she comes out to greet her adoring public after each show, we decided to stick around for a piece of the action.

I can honestly say I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life, and the interaction went better than I ever could have imagined (and believe me, I’ve imagined it many many times). I told her it was my 21st birthday, and that seeing her made my night. Her reaction was of genuine flattery (I’m not crazy, I swear) followed by a kiss on the cheek and a “You gonna get drunk tonight, kiddo?”

Of course, per her request, I drank until I blacked out — and although I remember almost nothing about the night, the memory of CB will live on forever,

The best thing to ever happen to New Jersey

Vh1 reality shows do more than just provide us with temporary entertainment. They introduce us to ridiculous human beings that remain in our lives long after their 15 minutes are up.

Mantra, an “all new posh ultra lounge” in New Jersey, is having its grand opening Friday, with live music by none other than Twelve Pack of I Love New York 2 fame. I knew he acted, and I knew he stripped at a gay club called Feathers, but I had know idea Twelve Pack was also a musician. I am impressed.

In case you don’t already appreciate Twelve Pack, check out this clip of him slapping Toastee on I Love Money. What a fantastic use of slow motion.