Lizzie McGuire is packing heat

January 28, 2009 2:40 am by Andy 

Bonnie and Clyde have seen their fair share of reinventions in the entertainment world since their original days of crime in the 1930s. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway’s 1967 film is the most widely recognized, but I think I speak for everyone when I say we prefer Beyonce and Jay-Z’s performances in the video for “03 Bonnie and Clyde.”

And it looks like the duo is ready for yet another makeover.

According to E! News, Hilary Duff has signed on to play young Bonnie Parker in The Story of Bonnie and Clyde, an indie flick scheduled to hit theaters in 2010.

Starring alongside the former Disney icon will be Kevin Zegers, who has kept a pretty low profile since appearing in Transamerica in 2005 — but can you blame him? (Three words: Felicity. Huffman’s. Penis. … I’m shakin’ in my blog just thinking about it).

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Things are looking even uglier for Betty

January 26, 2009 8:44 pm by Andy 

Much like the magazine its show is based around, Ugly Betty is in some serious trouble.

According to EW’s Michael Aussielo – trade lives with me… please? — the over-the-top drama is getting put on the bench, and after March 26 new episodes won’t be hitting the airwaves until as late as June. In the meantime, new episodes of Christina Applegate’s Samantha Who? and a new series titled In the Motherhood (lame) will run in Betty’s place.

So what does The Spoon have to say about all of this?

When Ugly Betty first started out, it was a beautiful thing. Witty dialogue and soap-esque storylines came together to create something so campy you could practically smell the bug spray. But Betty’s glory days have come and gone. I’m in the minority that believes the show jumped the shark in its first season when Rebecca Romijn’s character, Alexis, was thrown into the mix. The show managed to hold its own after that, until departure of Betty’s one-and-only Henry (Christopher Gorham).

Here’s a run-down of everything I hate about this season:

OK, my rant is over. Like the series itself, I too am out of ideas.

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Gossip Girl is spinning out of control

January 19, 2009 5:40 am by Andy 

After countless rumors and variations, Gossip Girl producers Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage are developing a spin-off to the “hit” CW series, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The new series, which will have a backdoor pilot airing later this season, will reportedly be a prequel to Gossip Girl, chronicling Lily van der Woodsen’s escapades in 1980s New York.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Lily. In fact, her husband-cheating, secret-baby-having antics are infinitely more entertaining than any of the b.s. stirred up by B and S.

But do we seriously need to see an entire series centering around her on-again-off-again relationship with Rufus? That’s kind of what Gossip Girl is for.

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No one shakes it like CB

January 18, 2009 9:29 pm by Andy 

Some incredible soul posted a new video of Christine Baranski on YouTube and it is H-O-T.

It’s footage of the curtain call from a performance of CB’s recently-closed Broadway play Boeing-Boeing (where I shamelessly managed to get a photo with her). Once the show ends, the cast comes out to dance for the audience and, while everyone puts 100% into it, no one can hold a candle to CB.

Those maracas. Those pants. It’s all too much to handle.

Evidence of CB’s hotness below. She makes her grand entrance at the 1:10 mark.

Thanks, Doug.

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Still vanilla after all these years

January 18, 2009 9:10 pm by Andy 

I’m equal parts proud and ashamed to say I was a face in the crowd at last night’s (surprisingly well-attended) Vanilla Ice concert at the Tioga Downs Racino.

But Robbie Van Winkle only made us suffer through a few of his newer songs before we got what we came for: A mind-blowing performance of “Ice Ice Baby” and — wait for it — a brand-new remixed version of “Ninja Rap.” What it lacked in Ninja Turtle action, it made up for in its sweet stench of failed career and desperation.

Even better than those little gems, though, was his shout-out to one of his former Surreal Life castmates.

I still got mad love for Ron Jeremy. [Pause] … Who loves porn?

I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried.

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My apology to the Ikki Twins

January 15, 2009 5:08 am by Andy 

Today’s post comes as a result of my own personal shame. I’ve developed a new addiction, and although it’s one I’m not proud of, I’ve come to the conclusion that we can’t always choose what we love. My new obsession, of course, is A Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins.

When MTV first announced the series, I was hating on it pretty hard. After all, A Shot at Love without Tila Tequila is like a human body without a heart — or so I thought. The reinvention is just as wacky (if not TWICE as wacky) as the original, complete with a ridiculous pool of contestants and those same so-bad-but-I-can’t-look-away production values.

On last night’s episode, the twins actually had a physical fight, which I’m pretty sure was just added in so we could see up one of their mini-skirts. I don’t even remember which girl it was. Not the one who looks like a hot version of Haylie Duff. The other one.

And now, a word from Joel McHale:

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Dunkleman and I are back (with photographic evidence)!

January 14, 2009 1:00 am by Andy 

Spring semester is just a week away, but I’m blogging again now a week early because, honestly, I missed doing it. And I think some of you missed me. … No? Oh, OK. Well, I still missed it.

But I’m not the only one who made a triumphant return tonight! On the season premiere of American Idol, during a through-the-years tribute to Ryan Seacrest, an old friend briefly got his mug on the air. I’m talking, of course, about Seacrest’s evil twin Brian Dunkleman. See the photo on the right for the shocking proof.

Sorry the quality of the photo is so crappy — I took it with my camera phone. Yes, I’m not ashamed to admit that I instinctively grabbed a camera at the mere sight of Dunkleman. Not documenting this occasion would be like finding a Leprechaun, but then letting it go without stealing all the gold out of his dirty Leprechaun fingers. Not right.

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Bugsy, I love you

December 28, 2008 6:14 pm by Andy 

I had the mixed pleasure of seeing Bedtime Stories, Adam Sandler’s first foray into family comedies, this past weekend. I say “mixed pleasure” because, while the movie itself made me want to drink from the no-no bottles under my kitchen sink, it did have one very special redeeming factor. And it’s name is Bugsy.

For those of you who don’t want to subject yourself to the movie — or are too lazy to look at the picture to the left — Bugsy is a poorly-animated CGI guinea pig with two huge eyes that are always bugging (oh, I get the name now) out of his head. He never really does anything useful to move the plot forward, but he is the perfect comic relief in the otherwise dramatic epic.

Bugsy must have done something right because Bedtime Stories came in at No. 2 for the weekend, grossing more than $28 million. God, I hope Disney makes a sequel all about Bugsy.

Please?

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An historic(al) endorsement

December 26, 2008 4:54 am by Andy 

I hope you’ve been enjoying your holidays, whatever they may be… No, seriously, all of them. Haha. I hope you’ve been surviving your families, too. And most importantly, I hope you’ve been enjoying lots of trashy TV.

And since I’m coming close to the end of my “December sabbatical” — I was actually just taking the time to recover after my run-in with Christine Baranski — I think it’s about time I weigh in on a very important issue going on in our world right now:

The ridiculous Twilight sequel casting rumble between Taylor Lautner and Michael Copon. 72 percent of People.com readers are on Team Taylor. Vote or die.

My thoughts? If Taylor can play the complex character of a child struggling with a half-man-half-shark identity (see Sharkboy and Lavagirl!) I think he can handle being a werewolf. So… Team Taylor?

Now don’t get me wrong. I gave Team Michael a thought, too. After all, how could I not at least consider a former Blue Power Ranger? The Blue ones usually find their ways. Phillip Jeanmarie, the guy who played the tranny on Passions, was also a Blue Ranger. And just look how that all worked out.

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Save the drama for the E.R.

December 8, 2008 8:33 pm by Andy 

It sounds like the drama behind the scenes of Grey’s Anatomy is just as intense as the show’s storylines — and just as boring!

According to Crazy Days and Nights, an entertainment/law blog, T.R. Knight (aka George O’Malley) has unofficially quit the show. Lame storylines have been cited as the reasons behind his decision (no surprise there), and show creator Shonda Rhimes is apparently failing to get through to him.

This story seems suspicious, but not altogether ridiculous. Just think about the cast’s tumultuous history so far: Isaiah Washington was fired in 2007 after his infamous homophobic outburst, Brooke Smith was let go earlier this year when the network decided it didn’t like her character or her storyline, and let’s not forget the constant is-she-or-isn’t-she departing status of Katherine Heigl.

I’ve been a loyal viewer of this show since the beginning, but the last few years have been torture. Am I alone here?

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