Roundup: Cornell’s obsession with anal sex
I don’t know how we missed this: On Nov. 16 Cornell University LGBT groups held an “informative and educational” presentation about everyone’s favorite sexual act, anal sex, in part to dispel myths and inform the general populace about all their humping options. The college Republicans, predictably, were there to protest the sponsoring groups and visiting “sexpert” Tristan Taormino who they said were “teaching people about an act that we believe is not morally right,” according to one protester. Taormino graciously thanked the Republicans for publicizing the event before she gave her talk. Watch the video until the end to see a snarky anal sex supporter tell the protesters to “go ahead and hold your sign up!”
Why can’t we have this in the U.S.?: Japan, that country of innovators which brought us Hello Kitty and the cell phone doodad leash, have unleashed yet another technological break through that’s sure to prevent them from ever interacting with each other in real life ever again. It’s a lecture class held entirely on a cell phone. But how does it work? PowerPoint slides pop up as the professor’s voice plays out of your phone’s speakers, which I guess is a great way to absorb information. Unfortunately, the downloadable classes don’t come with a “text your girlfriend in class and annoy your teacher” button. I’m heartbroken.
Now we’ll be able to better understand the epithets they shout at us while we destroy their way of life in a costly war of attrition: According to a report by the Modern Language Association (those lovely people who brought us MLA citation style) enrollments in foreign language courses are up 13 percent since 2002. Even better news: the study of the Arabic language has rocketed up 127 percent in five years. The number of students taking Chinese language classes were up 51 percent, and Korean language classes were up 37 percent. This makes me a little happier than I was ten minutes ago. Maybe the next generation will be a little more worldly than the one that’s currently in power. Or at least we’ll have better CIA agents.
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