Elite Schools Just Got That Much More Selective
Battening down the hatches: College applications have increased substantially this year at elite private and state schools - headed by Harvard and Princeton - but as applications have shot up, the schools are only accepting a much smaller group of students. The reason for this all? Eliminating early application and announcing a substantially better financial aid package for middle class students this year. Here’s the problem, in a nutshell: Mom: “Apply to Harvard, kid, so your father and I can use your college fund to pay for an 80-foot yacht and a little place in the Virgin Islands. Go on, do it. NOW!” For a list of schools affected, go here.
Harvard makes the news again, this time for parody: The Harvard Lampoon, a semi-secret society which publishes a humor magazine occasionally, hit it big this time. National Geographic designers collaborated with the ‘Poonsters to design their April Fool’s Day issue, and then 210,000 copies were bundled with the celebrated magazine and distributed across the country. The cover features Paris Hilton cavorting with a sad stuffed elephant and gorilla above the words, “Your Wildest Animal Fantasies.” They’re talking about the gorilla.
Inside, the funny guys seem to have done a slap-up (slapstick?) job, writing investigative pieces about infiltrating honey bee colonies and about the “outsourcing of the American lava lamp industry to the islands of Indonesia, where lava is cheap, plentiful, and harvested by thousands of natives.?
My personal favorite? A letter to the editor from reader “Literate Bear.” His thoughts?
“RAAARRRRR!”
And now, for some slightly less interesting news:
University of California system picks new president: The headline says it all. ‘Cept this is a big deal, cuz Mark Yudof, the new guy, is president of 10 universities, including UC Berkeley, where Dean Lynch almost went!
Student turns to prostitution to pay bills: A female Kansas State student arranged to meet up with a police officer for sex (first dumb move) in order to pay her apartment’s rent. The article hilariously goes on to explain how to get a real, legal job on campus for all the girls out there considering prostitution. Fucked up, but funny.
Bad April Fool’s Joke! A University of Oklahoma Law student sent out personalized April Fool’s letters to all law students explaining that they had violated the school’s honor code and should report to the”Dean of Jocularity’s non-existent office. Trouble is, the letters were printed on official college paper, so the school has accused him of violating, what else - the school’s honor code! We think they should let him off on this one. C’mon guys, take a joke.
Feed for College Ave.