Please stop eating our front yards, Mr. Backhoe

If you’re a resident of South Hill, and more specifically South Aurora Street, you might be wondering why backhoes are carving up your front yard this week. You know, just a passing interest. No biggie, you probably didn’t really like your front yard anyway.

Well, I demanded answers.

backhoe

It turns out the city of Ithaca unleashed its metallic yellow monsters on us unsuspecting college students to not only disrupt our morning commute as much as possible, but to actually make some municipal infrastructure improvements! That doesn’t mean we can’t be mad, though.

The city is apparently replacing over a mile of old sewer mains (probably a good idea) and they’re on the last stretch now. The Web site doesn’t say when they’ll be done digging for buried sewers, but they’ve helpfully gone ahead and put their phone numbers online. So kids, if you have any problems, don’t call, because they’re probably really busy call and complain.

Questions about this project can be forwarded to the Water & Sewer Division at (607) 272-1717 during the week, or (607) 273-4680 in an emergency situation after hours or on weekends.

You know, there’s something here that strikes me as vaguely hypocritical. Full-time residents, the city, and the police are always carrying on about how college kids cause so much noise, break things, pee on bushes at 2 a.m., etc. But since all this construction nonsense started, I’ve been awakened several times by JACKHAMMERS underneath my window. That kind of thing usually only happens in Roadrunner cartoons.

In addition, friends of mine living near construction Ground Zero on South Aurora Street tell me that half-drunk construction workers have been chattering away on their front lawns as early as 6 a.m. That’s before they start the backhoes and begin chewing up sidewalks, which tends to make a bit of noise. So now they’re not only disturbing our idyllic neighborhood with very loud noises very early in the morning, but they’re actually destroying property. To be fair, the backhoes haven’t been seen urinating on any bushes yet, but I haven’t see any porta-potties for all those construction guys either.

Personally, folks, I’d take drunken college kids peeing on my front lawn and screaming “Raaaage!” any day of the week over a backhoe munching on my property. What about you? I really think this is an issue both town AND gown can agree on.

Or maybe it’s just God punishing us for being noisy, free-spirited individuals. Strange sense of irony, that guy.

Oh, and I almost forgot my last minor frustration: they’ve also started spray painting graffiti all over our pristine sidewalks. Stuff like “HIDDEN GAS LINE.” C’mon now, that’s just rude.