Retirement Rockers
“You’re too old to rock! /?No more rockin’ for you!” - Tenacious D
A press release confirmed yesterday that Led Zeppelin will be reuniting in London on November 26 during a concert benefit the Ahmet Ertegun Educational Fund. This is just another example of a disturbing trend in which old rock and roll masters are riding decades of success in order to relive their glory days.? For bands such as Led Zeppelin, The Who and The Rolling Stones, there is no reason to keep playing - you are millionaires who should simply be tooling around privately in your home studios, leaving your legacy intact.? Instead, these dinosaurs can’t leave well enough alone, determined to make sure that some of their final shows are crippled by sagging features and shot vocal chords.
Don’t get me wrong - I love the music of the aforementioned bands as much as / more than their average fan, and I consider myself a devoted Zeppelin-ite.? But the fact remains that rock and roll is a sport of the young, and unless you write a stable canon of new songs, touring tunes you played way better in your youth is just a way to spur ticket sales from nostalgia lovers.? It is important to note the distinction - artists such as Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Neil Young have exhibited several periods of creative genius, earning them the right to perform engaging new material.? But other bands?offer?concrete reasons they should be banned from public performance:
-The Rolling Stones:?Guitarist Keith Richards?and?his crew are the Main Offenders, so to speak (excuse the pretentious pun).? The?Stones built an epic legacy off of their tightly-wound rock songs and their explosive, sexual onstage energy.? But look at them now.? Their last?great album was 1981’s Tattoo You, after which the boys attempted 26 years of reinvention, all to realize that they were fine the way they were.? This meant that the only relevant songs which stuck while touring were those?which were?at least 30 years old?.? But they themselves were much older than 30, and on their most recent A Bigger Bang Tour, the median age of the members was about 125.? Vocalist Mick Jagger resembled an ill version of Skeletor.
?
Watching him sing dirty songs about teenage sex was kind of like watching your drunk grandpa hit on your prom date.? Besides that, age tore Jagger’s voice apart and stole the magic from the fingers of the band, sending the guys from dangerous to pathetic.? Rock is best left to the young, and the Stones just need to hang it up.
The Rolling Stones?perform “Satisfaction” in 1965:
?
The Rolling Stones’ Super Bowl performance in 2006:
-The Who - “Half of the band is dead? Well, let’s just keep on truckin’!”? Why is it not too much of a stretch to imagine these words coming out of egomaniac Who guitarist Pete Townshend’s mouth?? For most bands, the loss of an entire rhythm section is a bit too much to carry on without.? But Townshend keeps filing people through in their place?(remaining vocalist Roger Daltrey better watch his back!) and adding auxiliary members in order to feign the existence of a solid group.? Can you imagine Paul and Ringo touring as The Beatles with a bunch of random dudes?? As if that is not bad enough, The Who threw gasoline on their burning career by releasing an awful new album last year called Endless Wire, which proved that Townshend was a lot more nimble and creative back in the day.? How about instead of releasing tired retreads of past albums and performing at about 60% of your ability as a fresh group, just take a vacation and count your money?? After all, this is the band who famously scribed the epic rock and roll line, “Hope I die before I get old.”
The?Who perform “Won’t Get Fooled Again” in 1978:
The Who perform “Won’t Get Fooled Again” at Live 8 in 2005:
?
-Led Zeppelin - What is toughest to swallow about this reunion is how perfect the band sounded before the 1980 death of drummer John Bonham.? At the time of his passing, the band issued a statement saying, “We wish it to be known that the loss of our dear friend and the deep sense of undivided harmony felt by ourselves and our manager, have led us to decide that we could not continue as we were.”? So why are the reuniting? One could say that it is noble of them to be getting together again for the purpose of charity, but goodwill aside, it is hard to imagine a reinvestigation of the Zeppelin legend.? Not only is the mighty Bonham not behind the drums, but the members are not as crisp musically as they once were.? They do not have the energy, practice or drive of the band’s classic days,and vocalist Robert Plant’s voice is shaky.? Although he has maintained a decent solo career following Zeppelin, his vocals are admittedly more craggy than in his youth, potentially dulling the group’s sound.? Also, the few times that Zeppelin has reunited, they have been less than thrilled with their performances, including a notorious gig at Live Aid which the band found to be so wretched that they did not allow it to be released on later DVDs.? Need more evidence that Zeppelin should stay separated? Jimmy Page’s last major project was playing guitar on a Puff Daddy song for the 1998 Godzilla soundtrack. Any questions?
?Jimmy Page solos during a 1973 performance of “Stairway To Heaven”:
?Jimmy Page supports Puff Daddy and Godzilla?on 1998’s “Come With Me”:
Categories: Intense Videos, Thursday Trend
Comments (1)
1 Comment | Add yours
Leave a Reply
Comments that do not abide by our Comments Policy may be deleted.
Feed for Sharp Notes
[...] if Sharp Notes did not have enough ammunition against tired bands playing into their retirement years, a truly ridiculous story has emerged today. [...]