The Death Of Their Father Proves That Donny and Marie Osmond Are Indeed Human and NOT Botox-Fueled Robots (Although We Still Have Our Sincere Doubts)
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Musical family dynasties worldwide?were shocked today?as it was announced?that?George Osmond, father of Donny, Marie and the rest of the Osmond family singers, died today of natural causes. The 90-year-old exemplified the classic American success story: devout Mormon serves in World War II, has nine kids after his return home, teaches kids how to sing, and whores them out at a young age in pursuit of fame and fortune.
But nay, don’t refer to George Osmond as the white?Joseph Jackson, the father and manager / promoter of his kids’ group, The Jackson Five. Nay, consider this one-time insurance salesman as?the white Joseph Jackson who fathered a less-than engaging child act. The Jackson clan?shone with?considerable musical genius at a young age, while the Osmonds were always the slightly-disturbing version of a young singing group. While the Jacksons were gettin’ down, the Osmonds were gettin’ awkward, fusing their music with an overt spirituality which?soon brought them from endearing to bizarre.
By the ’80s, as the careers of Janet and Michael began to skyrocket, Donnie and Marie, the cornerstones of the Osmonds, began to fade into self-parody. In fact,?few?artifacts of their recording career still exist, save their perennial Christmas albums, which gradualy?gather dust sitting on?your grandmother’s mantle.
No matter - George Osmond did the best he could to raise a pious family. And the next time Donny is hosting a reality show that gets cancelled after two episodes, or Marie talks like a crazy cat lady while shilling her dolls on QVC, they will surely have a glint of sadness in their eyes for their dear departed father.
P.S. - I hope someone keeps an eye on Marie - she seems like she?could use some?support. (bad taste?)
Snoop Dogg stops by Donny and Marie’s 1998?talk show to embarrass white people:
Categories: Breaking!, Intense Videos
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