Rats on a Sinking Ship
Now, I’ve never been a supporter of performance art but I couldn’t help myself when someone told me that a skateboarder had put together a piece called “The Republican Party: 2000-2008″. Take a look:
Now, I don’t know art but I do know what I like.
I’m fairly sure the first jump is representative of ‘02 through ‘05 while the second jump and laughable attempts to save himself from an almost certain death would be ‘06 through the ‘08 elections. Given the complexity of the piece, its hard to say.
Where’s this all going? Much like those shoes abandoned their skater in his last moments of consciousness, Republican Congressmen and Senators are announcing their resignation left and right. The most recent resignations — those of Dennis Hastert and Trent Lott — bring the final total up to 23; 17 congressmen and 6 senators.
Hastert’s two week notice has been long overdue given the poor judgment he showed in handling the Mark Foley Page scandal, but Lott’s announcement on Monday was surprising even to those within his party. This has of course led to a great deal of idle speculation because the usual “I want to spend more time with my family” just ain’t cutting it in this political atmosphere.
Although the unofficial spin seems to be that Senator Lott is resigning in time to avoid legislation that would require him to wait an additional year to take up a lucrative lobbying position, the juicier story is the almost clich? gay republican sex scandal. While I take such rumors with a grain of salt, the evidence seems to be against him.
Last month, Larry Flynt announced that he would expose a sex scandal involving a Republican Senator in the next few weeks. On November 26th, Senator Lott tenders his resignation so suddenly that even his some of his staffers are unaware of it before it happens.
Rumors begin to surface of a connection between male escort Benjamin Nicholas and the Senator, including e-mails and other records that show they have met on at least two occasions. Nicholas then refuses to comment or be interviewed on the story because “Trent is going through his fair share of scrutiny right now and I don’t want to add to it.” He might as well have just saved everyone some time and said yes.
The nail in the coffin, as it were, seems to be that Trent Lott was once a cheerleader. (Second from the right)
To make a juicy story even better, one likely replacement for Lott is Representative Chip Pickering, who just happens to have made a cameo in the Borat movie during his experience at a pentecostal church (View clip here). At times, its almost surreal.
If the story has any weight at all I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about it soon. Otherwise its probably just another attempt by bloggers to get a little notoriety out of the Gay Republican Gravy Train (which strangely enough is also the name of an impressively acrobatic sex position).
Getting back to the real story, it’s getting so that I can’t walk down to the convenient store to pick up a pack of smokes without tripping over 3 republicans that have resigned. Although the typical reasons for their departures have ranged from “I want to spend more time with my family” to “My family wants me to spend more time with them”, I’m not sure anyone seriously believes them. The sex scandals have no doubt contributed, but I think the number of republicans leaving office is more representative of an extremely disheartened party than anything else.
With the American people’s confidence in congress even lower than their confidence in President Bush, many on the right were hopeful that the 2008 elections would mark their return to power. However, if fund raising has anything to say about it, than the Republican Party is in for a rough couple of years. The Democratic Party’s Senatorial and Congressional Campaign Committees have, respectively, raised $23.5 million and $29 million trumping the almost pitiful $9.5 and $2.56 raised by their Republican counterparts.
Whats the big picture? In the ‘08 elections republicans are likely to be out gunned in terms of fund raising and far to0 busy defending seats that should never have been in jeopardy in the first place to play any real offense on the seats they lost in ‘06. I’ll be surprised if it isn’t one hell of a November for liberals.
Mitt Romney jumps on a Gay (website)
Calling it an accident, Mitt Romney has taken down several campaign ads from Gay.com, a website for gay men that serves as a listing for personal ads, a posting board for “events” in your area, and a sex shop.
Important? Not really. Hilarious considering his stance on gays and the slew of homosexual controversies that have plagued the Republican party? Abso-freaking-lutely. The ads — which read “Vote for Team Mitt!” — are known to have appeared some 32,000 times in August but were probably confusing considering what team most site-goers batted for.
This writer is left with one nagging question: Was Mitt trying to fill up his opening - in the polls - with the Pitcher vote or trying to dominate - in the polls- the under appreciated Catcher constituency?
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Odds and Ends: November 6th
1) Dick Cheney’s psychic hotline
This video and the comments makes in it are fairly well known in some circles, but the population at large has yet to really hear about it even after over 4 years in Iraq. What’s more, the media has been at least somewhat negligent in not holding the vice president’s feet to the flame over these comments:
Here’s the two scary scenarios:
1) Somehow this vice president COMPLETELY FORGOT all the good points he had made not 9 years earlier and supported the US going into Iraq because he thought everything would be peachy. In this scenario, the man at bat in the presidential line of succession has a brain like swiss cheese.
2) The vice president still realized what an absolute mess Iraq would be but still supported an invasion. In this scenario, any comments about early victories or quick troop withdrawals were either hopelessly optimistic to the point of stupidity or intentionally misleading.
2) Kucinich goes after the all important “has been anally probed” vote
In a stunning moment of stupidity, Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich admits to having seen a UFO. Where did this happen you might ask? Was he asked at a random stop on the campaign trail by an excentric audience member? Nay nay. It was at the nationally televised Democratic debates.
Question:
The godmother of your daughter, Shirley MacLaine, writes in her new book that you’ve sighted a UFO over her home in Washington state. That you found the encounter extremely moving, that it was a triangular craft silent and hovering, that you felt a connection to your heart and heard direction in your mind. Now,did you see a UFO?
Kucinich:
I did. And the rest of the account — I didn’t — I — it was unidentified flying object, okay. It’s like — it’s unidentified. I saw something . I’m also going to move my campaign office to Roswell, New Mexico and another one, an extra, to New Hampshire, okay… And also, you have to keep in mind that more — that Jimmy Carter saw a UFO, and also that more people in this country have seen UFOs than, I think, approve of George Bush’s presidency.
Congratulations Dennis, you might officially win the Darwin Award for killing, once and for all, any hope you might have ever had at being taken seriously.
3) Remember remember the 5th of November, the internet fund raising plot
On November 5th, Ron Paul supporters raised an astounding $4.07 million, the highest amount any Republican candidate has received in a single day. The odd part of the story is that the motivate behind most donations was the fact that it was Guy Fawkes Day, the inspiration for the hero in V for Vendetta.
Included on their website is this Ron Paul Revolution Video:
Movie themes for other candidates:
-Hillary Clinton uses The Thing: If fund raising goals are met, she’ll stop changing into whatever form she thinks will trick people into voting for her.
-Mitt Romney uses Big Love: He’ll marry another wife if they break Ron Paul’s $4 million record.
-Dennis Kucinich uses Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Dennis is taken away to a planet where he has a chance of getting elected and sets fund raising records there.
-Rudy Giuliani uses World Trade Center: Using the tradegy on 9/11, he’ll raise millions and become the front runner. Whoops….looks like he already thought of this one.
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