Today, we are going to talk about negativity. I know that this is a little less formal than usual, but I felt it necessary to bring this subject up. I mean, negativity is this entity present in most people’s lives, and it can suffocate, drown, and destroy you, if you let it. Sometimes, it comes from the people around you, the things you watch, and even yourself. However, the idea here is to not let it become a dominant part of your life. I know from experience what it’s like to struggle to stay positive. It’s even harder when the people around you are constantly tearing you down. You feel inferior and angry and “too much”. I don’t want anyone to feel how I felt.
There was a time, in my life, that I spent trying to please others and forgetting about myself. I wanted to appear selfless and likable, so I let others walk all over me. Use me. Break me. Insult me. I almost lost myself. I wanted so badly to do something about it, but I didn’t think that I was strong enough. I didn’t think that I deserved any better than what I was getting. I thought about taking my own life.
However, I found an outlet watching a YouTube channel called “MarkE Miller”. It’s a channel centered around the relationship that Mark and his boyfriend, Ethan, have and the various adventures that they go on. Above all, one thing stuck out to me the most. Every video, the two of them open by saying, “Today is going to be a great day and do you know why? Because every day is a great day.”
I spent a very long time contemplating what that meant. How could every day be a great day? What if someone dies today? What if I trip walking down the stairs? What if they run out of chicken fingers in the Pub? I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand.
I continued dealing with my life and letting others beat me to a mushy pulp. I cried a lot. I tried to just be stronger than my situation but nothing worked. That was until I decided to take Mark and Ethan’s words to heart.
I remember looking in the mirror and staring at my own reflection. I thought about all the mean things people have said to me. I thought about all the things that I don’t like about myself. I thought about how others treated me. And despite all that, I remember saying to myself, “You know what? This isn’t that bad.” That was the moment my life completely changed.
I looked at myself and gave myself a single compliment. “Angel. Today, you look adorable.” And I smiled. And I thought about the idea of making every day a great one. I thought about being happy and decided that, since I want to be happy, I will be. No one will get in the way of that. Yes, I am human. I have days where I feel like absolute rubbish, but I remember to make the most of those moods and salvage the day, in any way that I can.
I think that’s what 2015 should be about. 2015 needs to be “the year of the self”. I have committed to making this year about no one but myself. That’s something that I’ve never done in my life. I constantly try to make sure everyone else is okay, before my own well-being. So, I have elected to focus a large part of my time improving the quality of my life and the way that I think about myself. I know that I don’t have people falling over themselves to date me and that I will never be Zac Efron. However, I am beautiful. Just like you. Just like your neighbor. Just like your roommate. Just like your siblings. Just like your worst enemy. We all are beautiful and special. That’s a life lesson for anyone that reads this.
So, here’s the part where I challenge you, the reader. I challenge you to relearn the way that you think of yourself and the world around you. Learn to love all those little things about yourself. It doesn’t matter if that’s your nose, your hands, your ears, your toes, or even your tummy (even if your resolution this year is to get rid of it). Jam by yourself to some music and lip sync and dance. Feel good about yourself. Dance like no one is watching.
And I don’t just mean to learn to love yourself on the outside. Learn to love that person within you that’s waiting to burst out and greet the world. I’m one hundred percent sure that the person within you is lovely, too.
That is my challenge to all of you. I’ll be continuing this challenge and I hope that I am not alone. Smile. You deserve it. Just take it one step at a time and remember that today’s going to be a great day. Do you know why? Because every day is a great day. (Thanks again, Mark and Ethan.)