February 7, 2023
Ithaca, NY | 42°F


Pizza bagel disaster

I love bagels. I love pizza. Logically, it would make sense that pizza bagels therefore became a favorite summer snack in my childhood. And moreover, it would not be unlikely, after years of paying others to spread tomato sauce and cheese on a bagel and put it in a toaster oven, that I would try to do it myself.

Sadly, this is not a story of success. Akin to my attempt to take care of a bunny rabbit in the first grade, not all well-intentioned things are destined for victory.

I first was allowed to use all the possibly life-threatening appliances of the kitchen in middle school when my parents thought I was old enough to make snacks for myself. I successfully toasted bread, heated up canned soup, and even cooked pasta out of a box. (Aren’t you shocked I’m not in culinary school after my great beginnings?)

Determined to make myself a pizza bagel one day after school, I gathered the ingredients- a plain bagel from Food Lion, canned Ragu leftover from some dinner’s pasta, and shredded cheese in a bag. First, I cut the bagel in half. It went well; no blood, no missing fingers, a bagel in two parts. Next, I spread the tomato sauce across the bagel. Triumph again. Finally, I lifted the perfect amount of cheese from the bag and let it fall onto my bagel. I was on a roll.

But then came the challenge. How would I make my bagel into the wonderful pizza-like curiosity it was destined to be? You may think “Toaster oven… Duh,” but that was the gap in my plan. My family has never owned a toaster oven. I realized, though in more seventh grader-like vocabulary, that I was screwed. (At this point, the only thing in the kitchen I was still not allowed to use was the conventional oven, so that was not an option.)

No one else was home yet, so I decided to put my creation into the microwave and see what happened. You can use your imagination. It took me the next half hour to fully clean the inside of the microwave.

Now I am in college, still without a toaster oven. I can only hope that one day I will try again and beat the pizza bagel gods.

– – – While it is only the start of National Pizza Month, it is the end of my pizza-themed week. In the meantime, try a new flavor at your favorite local slice shop and check out these two great pizza blogs:

http://blog.scottspizzatours.com/ Scott Weiner, who I mentioned in my previous post, is a professional pizza enthusiast. His tours are a big draw, but his musings and adventures, discussed on his blog, are equally worth your time.

http://pizzainthemovies.tumblr.com/ Self-explanatory title, I think. Enjoy!