This may come as a shock or no surprise depending on who you are and your relation to me, but I have never been on a date in my life. I have no dating experience; In fact, I have no game. A lot of people say my friendliness comes off as flirtation, but I honestly don’t know the difference. If someone were to confess their undying love for me after this blog post, I would simply combust because of my obliviousness but also awkwardly say thank you. What else could I do? I have no idea how to react in situations like that.
This could stem from my awkward teen phase continuing too long and the fact that no one has ever been interested in me (that I know of), but there is nothing that I could account for being my dating “experience”.
I live vicariously through my friends who had high school relationships until very recently. Or my friend who had an awkward Tinder date where the man brought out his childhood blanket and stuffed animal. Or even that one time where a man aggressively made out with my friend and caused her lips to bruise blue. I know. Yikes.
I wish I could give advice on the awkward moment of ‘Do they like me or do they want to be friends?’ However, every time, in my case, they would like to be friends. This isn’t a call out to the ones who rejected me or anything because honestly, I don’t think I’m interested in dating at all. The idea of dating always made me uncomfortable. Relying on someone and being codependent just didn’t seem like it would fit in for me. I will quickly call out the idea of “talking” — it’s whack and unnecessary to not label things. If you care just label it.
Now don’t get me wrong there are people who love being in a relationship, I know a lot of people who are seniors in very happy, healthy, and committed relationships. A lot of people make you think you should be in a long-term committed relationship before you graduate. This might be too close of a reiteration from my last blog, but I never did meet the love of my life in the Towers elevator. Woe is me. Dating was just never something I wanted.
For so long I thought there was something wrong with me because of this. When it’s actually the opposite. Don’t feel pressured to be in a relationship. There is no right answer, especially when you have zero experience. I am not kidding, the other day in the office we all looked up our Rice Purity scores; it’s 84 besties. I could lament about how the COVID-19 pandemic ruined my chances but I’m just more introverted than before. Now, before people call me out for lying, I am in fact an ambivert. I have my introverted and extroverted moments. The pandemic just made it easier for me to watch anime and listen to music in the dark. Dating is overrated, friends. In my personal opinion, I’m not missing anything so I’m fine with whatever.