Thanksgiving break — a time for you to spend with your loved ones. Not to get super emotional, but the holidays mean a lot more to me now because I have fewer people to spend it with. My family took a big hit from 2019 to now, so I get extra sentimental about family time. Even if we argue … a lot. Thanksgiving is the first long-ish break before you’re home for a month in the winter. Quality time is definitely important, but I’m typing this an hour into the four-hour drive to the Airbnb my family and I are staying at for Thanksgiving. And, if I’m being honest, I might already be over it. 

There’s something about having to come back to your house after having so much independence at college that always feels weird. It could be because my little brother (who is four years younger) loves to act like a grown man when he’s a child. Or the fact that until I was officially 21, people saw me as a kid. But I have been away from home since I was 14 (this is where I mention I went to boarding school). Coming back and getting into a routine that doesn’t solely focus on me is weird.  My cousins get mad at me when I want to buy meals that would only feed one person. I AM one person — why am I buying food for them with my money? Why am I buying groceries for the collective? 

I don’t live here.

My little brother makes a joke about me not living there every time I’m home. “Who is this stranger that doesn’t pay rent?” So funny. Anyway, back to Thanksgiving. 

As of right now, this Thanksgiving will be the most unique compared to all the ones before it. We did it in a different state, and almost all the usual people we have it with were not there. Not only that, but coming back from Thanksgiving, I only have a week and a half to finish literally everything I need to.

I am going abroad next semester to a program that has limited Wi-Fi access. Not only have I been trying to get my travel plans in order, but I have also been finishing school and handling graduation proceedings months in advance; it’s a lot. I can’t believe that when I get back, I’ll have so little time at the college. It’s also made this break seem a lot less like a break. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t think any of my breaks have ever been restful breaks. I spend the first few days catching up on sleep and binging the TV shows I want to and then the rest of the week, I lock myself in my room doing work. That’s something that has always happened; senior year isn’t going to change that. I wish it would. But it seems like I have always been busy, so it’s whatever. I’m grateful for everything that happens either way. 

I’m so excited for what’s to come, but I have worries. I know what’s going to happen is just part of what the universe has in store for me. And, being completely honest, I’m scared. But I am also very excited.