Editor’s Note: This is a guest commentary. The opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board.
“These are going to be the best four years of your life.”
How many times have we heard that as college students? Whether it’s coming from our parents, our older siblings, recent graduates or straight from the script of a movie, people are always telling college students that this is going to be the best time of their lives. But what if it isn’t? What if the best years of your life will be in your late 20s or 30s? What if the best is yet to come? What if college is a lonely, depressing time for some students? Being told that college is supposed to be the best four years of your life can be a confusing, saddening concept for some students if that is not the case for them.
In a little over a month from now, I will be graduating from college and I can say with certainty these were not the best four years of my life, and that’s just fine. For starters, my first year of college was spent in my living room taking online courses while all of my friends got to move into dorm rooms. Once I finally did live on campus, I was diagnosed with a type of skin cancer and spent many hours scheduling and attending appointments. During my third year, I decided to live at home and commute to campus from an hour away. I spent many 12-hour days sitting in classes that I didn’t want to be in and being too shy to really talk to anyone. Weekends were spent visiting friends at every other school; Oneonta, Oswego, Buffalo, Cortland and others. Saying bye to friends after every winter and summer break was especially hard because I knew they were going back to school to have “the best time of their life.”
This semester, my final one, started off hard because my best friend, who has been at home with me, finally moved to Buffalo. The goodbye was filled with many tears and anxiety about the future. Like many college students, I felt extremely overwhelmed and anxious about feeling alone, being way too busy and overworked. To top it all off, I flipped my car in a severe car accident when I was on my way to school on a random Thursday. On top of being a traumatic incident, I had professors email me back saying that my absence from class on the day of the accident was not excused and that I would need to complete the missed assignment. During my years at Ithaca College, I have had so many professors who have a truly kind heart, love the art of teaching and go out of their way to get to know their students. Unfortunately, though, there are those few professors whose lack of empathy worsens a student’s stress and overall success.
I’ve spent countless hours working on homework, meeting with professors, doing group projects and spending late nights working toward my undergraduate degree in marketing, all to be an elementary education teacher. Sounds silly, right? It may be even sillier, though, to expect 18-year-olds to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. I vividly remember reading about the IMC major at Ithaca College and knowing it was the perfect fit for me. Four years later though, I have found my even truer calling in education, and that’s just fine, too.
Despite my seemingly negative outlook on my college experience, I have had some amazing moments too. Visiting my friends, finding my passion for my career path and learning about myself on a much deeper level have truly been some of the best times of my life. Even so, the tale of the perfect college experience is a risky one. It’s important that young adults enter college with an open mind and no specific expectations, and rather make the best of their experience for what it is. It’s time to get rid of the correlation between one’s four years at college and the best four years of one’s life. For many, this will probably be the case. For many others, these years will be filled with hardship, grief, growing, learning and so much more. College offers a wonderful opportunity to meet new people and create new beginnings, but it certainly does not have to be the peak of your entire life.
Avery Virkler (she/her) is a senior advertising, public relations and marketing communications major. Contact her at [email protected].
Mike Slepian, ‘71, P, ‘02 • Oct 26, 2023 at 9:54 am
Avery,
You raise an excellent point about college being the “best years.” In fact, I’m not sure we should even think in terms of “years!” I truly loved my four years at Ithaca College. However, every year since has overflowed with joyful times and delightful moments.
I’m 74 years old now and looking forward to driving to IC tomorrow to enjoy another exciting alumni weekend!
My wife and I have two amazing children, one of whom was wise enough to also become an Ithaca grad.
Now we have four terrific grandchildren. We travel, sail, and are blessed with many wonderful friends. And yes, one of my best friends is also an Ithaca grad. We’ve remained in touch and shared vacations since 1971!
So don’t be influenced by the opinions of others. I almost feel sorry for people who claim college was the best time of their lives. The time you spend at IC is designed to help you make the rest of your life the best!