2.5 out of 5.0 stars
“Wolfs” reunites Brad Pitt and George Clooney for a fun, but run-of-the-mill R-rated action comedy that does nothing wrong nor anything amazing. It’s perfectly mediocre.
Aside from this year’s animated film “IF,” where Pitt and Clooney lent only their voices, this is their first time teaming up in a film since 2008’s “Burn After Reading.” Initially promoted to have a grand release at movie theaters, “Wolfs” instead arrived with a whimper in an exclusive streaming debut on Apple TV+. Though unnamed — their characters respectively referred to as “Margaret’s Man” and “Pam’s Man” on IMDB — Clooney and Pitt ooze all the charisma and chemistry expected of this dynamic superstar duo.
In “Wolfs,” the two play fixers hired to clean up the scandalous messes of the rich and powerful. Their services are required by the new district attorney, Margaret (Amy Ryan) when she discovers the body of her college-aged lover (Austin Abrams) in their hotel room, referred to only as “the Kid.” In a panic, she summons Clooney’s character. Meanwhile, the hotel’s manager, Pam (Frances McDormand), watches via hidden camera and summons Pitt’s character. It’s a fun moment as the two fixers attempt to weasel themselves out of the job while Pam and Margaret blackmail them to begrudgingly work together. Neither man trusts the other, never letting their counterpart out of sight.
Finally, the fixers dismiss Margaret and turn back to their job, a dead body disposal. As Margaret’s Man wraps the body, Pam’s Man taunts him until he stumbles across a backpack containing four bricks of heroin. Suddenly, their straightforward assignment isn’t so straightforward, especially once they discover that the Kid is actually alive. These opening 30 minutes are the most engaging of the film, rarely leaving the ominous penthouse suite location and cleverly introducing the plot.
The two superstar actors always kept this movie watchable, even when the plot grew convoluted by introducing too many new criminals, rivals and twists along the way. Their dialogue is snappy, flirtatious even, as they constantly riff off each other. At one point, they plan out an interrogation as if it’s a threesome, with Margaret’s Man offering to start and Pam’s Man unnecessarily suggesting he will “jump in when it feels right.” It was awkward, like older people shoddily attempting to use youthful humor.
As the night goes on, the fixers chase the Kid –– who is wearing only his boxers –– across boroughs, bridges and bolted shopping malls. For a city that never sleeps, New York is pretty empty here, unrealistically appearing more desolate than it did during the height of the 2020 global pandemic. The Kid is recaptured, of course, and eventually begins to idolize them both, pointing out what Pitt and Clooney’s characters cannot admit: they work better as partners than as individuals.
Despite being an action comedy, “Wolfs” lacks in both genres. The action is stale and unexciting, and the only impressive stunt comes from the Kid (Abrams). After Margaret’s Man hits him with his BMW, the Kid flips over it, somehow managing to land on his feet while Pam’s Man watches, astonished. Unfortunately, the scene is conducted in a long-winded, slow-motion sequence that uncomfortably shows far too many shots of the Kid’s nether regions covered only by a white pair of boxers. The high cringe factor makes it hard to appreciate.
All the comedy also fails to stick the landing — It’s not horrible and definitely could’ve been worse, but it lacked any real laugh-out-loud moments. Think Deadpool jokes, but aimed at an older demographic nostalgic for the “Ocean’s” franchise.
To no one’s surprise, Pitt and Clooney’s characters embrace their similarities by the end of the film, speaking and shooting in sync with each other. Their bromance makes “Wolfs” a safe bet, not only for writer-director Jon Watts –– who adds little creative flair and lets his stars do their thing –– but for audiences as well. Entertaining enough to watch but bland enough to forget, it’s the perfect small-risk watch for family movie night.
The question is: What enticed Pitt and Clooney to do this movie in the first place? After waiting so long to reunite, couldn’t they have re-teamed with Steven Soderbergh to make another Ocean’s movie instead? “Wolfs” lacks purpose, with its flat humor and slow-moving action. Without their star power, it would be unwatchable. Their lack of names is pointless and makes connecting with their characters difficult; even codenames would make it easier. As actors in the twilights of their careers, this is a muted and forgettable addition to their otherwise impressive filmographies.
