Valentine’s Day has always been my favorite holiday. I know. I’m a really sappy person, but I don’t think that Valentine’s Day should be called a “Hallmark Holiday”, like so many label it. Isn’t there something magical about every holiday that has been celebrated for centuries? I think there is. Maybe, that makes me a hopeless romantic. However, I’ve always been a firm believer that, though Cupid may not exist, love strives most on this holiday and that, whether it’s a lover, friend, or family member, it’s okay to just tell someone, on this day, “I love you.” And I understand just how vulnerable that can make a person, when they put it all on the line, but it’s so so so worth it!
For those of you who do not have a Valentine this year, please remember that there is always next year. The best part of Valentine’s Day is that it comes every year. And don’t try to damper the moods of others. It’s not cute, to be honest, especially if you are complaining on Twitter about it.
For those of you who do have a Valentine, such as myself, here are just a few quick tips for your possible date tonight. I’ll try to keep this brief.
- Deodorant is good for A LOT of things. Anyone who has ever told you that deodorant is good for keeping fresh hygiene in the armpit area is completely right, but it’s useful for a lot more than that. Let’s say that you completely lost track of time and don’t have time to shower. You don’t want to be late. What kind of date is late? A bad one. So, put on that instant shower. It’s called deodorant. I don’t recommend doing this often, but, if it is an emergency, do what you have to do! (If it smells like flowers or fruits, it can also make a great perfume, if you are out.)
- Don’t eat pasta or salad or Mexican food. The rule of thumb for any date is to eat something very plain. Tonight is not the night to eat something that is going to absolutely upset your stomach. Going along with this, you don’t want to eat something that is going to make you look like a ravenous animal or a slob. Pasta is the main culprit for this. I once took a date to Olive Garden and ate pasta. Needless to say, we didn’t go on another date. Also, no one eats lettuce in a cute way, so stop while you are ahead. (Not that I eat salad…)
- If he or she wants to pay, LET THEM! I don’t even know why this is ever an argument. I’ve seen couples break up over this. If someone wants to pay on a date, literally, let them! Just let them. Don’t make this the time to establish your independence. Do that another time. Enjoy your date and your food. You deserve this. After all, do you know what the only thing better than food is? FREE FOOD!
- Gum/Breath Spray is so important. If you plan on kissing anyone today, don’t you DARE leave the house without some sort of breath freshener. No one likes to kiss a person with ketchup breath. Usually, the restaurant has after-dinner mints, but come with them, just in case. You never know. Just because you brushed and flossed before your date, doesn’t mean that your breath won’t smell weird after a romantic dinner for two… or three, if you’re into that sort of thing.
- Have an excuse ready. This is the final rule. If this is a first date tonight, come with a plan on how to get the hell out of there. I don’t care what excuse you have to make. Just have one. Have one and be prepared to tell it. First dates can go horribly. They can be scary. And, if you need to get out of there, GET OUT OF THERE! ABORT! RUN! It’s okay. So, remember, grandma needs help off the ground and forgot to purchase Life Alert! Your bird has explosive diarrhea! Your long lost brother just showed up at your front door! Gotta go!
But yeah! That’s all that I really have for you all. Have fun tonight. Stay safe and don’t get pregnant on the first date. (Don’t get someone else pregnant either.) Valentine’s Day is an amazing holiday and try to cherish it. And for those single people that read this, your time will come. I promise. <3
Until next time, my friends!
