December 9, 2022
Ithaca, NY | 33°F


Are You a Belieber?

Well, I’m not. Well, maybe a little. Partially. I hate to admit it, but I just can’t get enough of that kid! I find myself humming “Baby” while at work and crying when I think about him. Not really on that last part, but I had you fooled didn’t I? Let’s look at the big picture here: You have this kid who is basically a pseudo sex symbol for pre-teens (and some inexperienced adults) that gets as close as possible to the girls in his videos without touching them (sounds like the premise to a really bad mini-reality series). He sings about love, sexual tension and yearning for attention from the opposite sex. But how does he know about love? He’s practically 8!

Even with his “cute” charm and Tina Fey-swooning capabilities, there’s something off about Bieber. He’s doesn’t quite fall under the boy band category that ’90s kids have come to know so well (because he’s a solo act). But he doesn’t exactly fall under “kid star” either. Maybe if he sticks around, he’ll reach Zac Efron’s syndicated status, crossing that coveted 18-year-old boundary into the spotlight of the ever-present paparazzi so he has a solid spot in the industry.

Will The Fame push this tyke into oblivion as soon as he hits that mark? Will he even stick around that long? I say he take a Taylor Swift-esque oath and go down the saintly path to stardom.

It’ll help him sustain for a good 10 years.