March 22, 2023
Ithaca, NY | 60°F


Firing Squad: Kim Kardashian – “Jam (Turn It Up)”

%image_alt%I mean, should we really be surprised that Kim Kardashian came out with a song? I don’t think so. Actually, I’m surprised this hasn’t come out sooner. Welcome to America, our reality stars can do anything. We have “Hills”-girl-turned-mannequin Heidi Montag with her meaningless musings and Paris Hilton with her beach-lover music video. Yes, Paris, “Stars Are Blind,” but your audience better be deaf.

What we have on our hands now is Double K’s “Jam (Turn It Up).” You don’t even need to listen to the song. About 80% of the song is just the title repeated over four-on-the-floor dance beats. Apparently this “song” was recorded with The Dream, but I can’t even hear him. He must be hidden under the impenetrable layers of auto-tune. I’m not sure; he may be the distorted voice that just keeps saying, “jam.”

Kim’s masterpiece perpetuates this trend in music of writing a song about a song. INCEPTION. Or is it a song about going to clubs and dancing to other songs? Shouldn’t Kardashian’s “jam” be “Jam (Turn It Up)?” What is this “jam” you speak of, Kim?

In today’s world, fame comes at the hefty price tag of 99 cents for an “I Am T-Pain” app. Can you keep up with Kardashian’s thought-provoking manifesto found below?

Kim Kardashian – “Jam (Turn It Up)”