Social media blew up yesterday when Disney announced that it had purchased LucasFilms for 4.05 billion dollars and also promised “Star Wars: Episode 7” (a.k.a. “Star Wars: Let’s Rake in the Dough”) in 2015.
This deal has great media industry potential, but for every great idea this deal could spawn, there are five more that are terrible. Here’s my list of things that should never happen now that Disney owns LucasFilms.
Disney executives: these aren’t the ideas you’re looking for.
- Jar-Jar Binks stars in his own television series geared towards toddlers. Because, you know, that’s how he talks.
- An “Indiana Jones” reboot. Look, we all saw “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” and that was just cruel and unusual punishment for Indy fans.
- Princess Leia is added to the lineup of Disney Princesses. I love Leia as much as the next Star Wars fan (well, maybe not the male ones), but I’ll bet the idea of Leia as a Disney princess makes Carrie Fisher cry.
- Jedi. School. Musical.
- Any Star Wars characters on “Once Upon a Time.” There will be no discussion about this, this will simply just not be allowed.
- A brand-new superhero team led by Han Solo that consists of the Beast, Merida, Princess Leia and a newly reformed/rebellious Boba Fett.
Actually, scratch that last one. I’d totally put that on my DVR.
You can read the full press release regarding the acquisition here.
