January 28, 2023
Ithaca, NY | 32°F


Relationship expert uses humor to discuss love and sex

Dozens of students gathered in IC Square on Feb. 12 to hear Andrea Adams-Miller, a healthy sexuality and relationship speaker, use humor to explain problems college students have in relationships and hooking up during her segment called “Let’s Talk About Sex.”

Adams-Miller began her presentation with an interactive activity where the students thought of five characteristics they would want in a partner and wrote those qualities on their hands.

“You need to pick qualities that are important to you in an ideal partner; these are your dreams and desires when it comes to meeting people,” Adams-Miller said.

Adams-Miller had students send in anonymous questions to her by text, which she answered in front of the audience. The first question students asked Adams-Miller was about her opinion of the word “slut.” Adams-Miller said she disliked the double standard between men and women when it comes to calling people sluts.

“Over the years, I’ve seen that groups of guys celebrate with each other after having sex, and then when the girl has sex, other girls are just like, ‘slut,’” Adams-Miller said. “It limits women’s ability to be sexual and make their own decisions.”

Other questions students asked varied from anal sex to the female orgasm. Adams-Miller worked to answer every question in a way to make each person feel more comfortable and not alone in his or her situation.

When it comes to any kind of relationship, Adams-Miller said, adding more energy to it is best. She used the excitement dogs express when their owners come home as an example to demonstrate how people should greet both friends and romantic partners in their lives.

“Think about if we took our relationships to the dogs,” Adams-Miller said. “If when you said hello to people, you jumped up and wanted to say hello and were excited that they are there, we would build deeper relationships and make people feel more loved.”

Adams-Miller worked to involve the entire audience in her views of healthy sexuality. She said she has always had body confidence because every day she looks at herself in the mirror and says, “Damn, I look good.” Adams-Miller asked everyone in the audience to repeat that same phrase several times to themselves and then turn to people sitting nearby to tell them they look good too.

Nearing the end, students texted fun date ideas to Adams-Miller, which she then shared with the audience. One student suggested to go restaurant hopping for each course of a meal, another texted about going to watch the sunrise with a significant other.

Many of the students were laughing and active the entire night, responding to Adams-Miller’s quick wit. Sophomore Zoe Naseef said she thought her honest approach to talking about sex was important for the audience.

“Andrea gave a refreshing, honest perspective into college dating life and hookup culture,” Nassef said.

Sophomore Kim Capehart said Adams-Miller displayed the importance of body confidence and sexual health in college.

“It was refreshing to talk about healthy sexual relationships in a body positive way,” Capehart said.

Adams-Miller finished the night with inspirational advice for the college students. She discussed the importance of believing in oneself and looking forward to achieving one’s goals.

“You wouldn’t be here [in college] if things didn’t work out,” Adams-Miller said. “In the end, everything works out and everything is okay.”