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Accuracy • Independence • Integrity

May 19, 2019   |   Ithaca, NY

Seed Is Sacred wants you to repent

By | Nov 15, 2012

Perhaps I’m jaded, because at first glance I figured @SeedIsSacred was some sort of atheist-created parody account. Who else would hop on Twitter and command other users to “repent” for making offhanded twitter comments about pleasuring themselves? Turns out, this guy. Seed Is Sacred has just over a hundred followers, but I couldn’t resist being…

Interview with a Common Squirrel

By | Nov 9, 2012

I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers. No, seriously. A big part of this “talking to weirdos on the Internet” job involves unearthing stranger’s personal email addresses and tweeting at people I’ve never met in the hopes they’ll waste twenty minutes of their life answering my questions. A surprising amount of people are completely…

I was rejected by a cartoon cereal mascot

By | Oct 29, 2012

Sun. 4:15 PM Sent off my fourth or fifth tweet to @RealCapnCrunch, the official, verified[1] twitter account of Captain Crunch. Yes, that Captain Crunch. The foremost naval commander of Quaker Oats cereals. He’s never responded to any of my tweets asking for an interview. This is worrisome. I have a bunch of followers who can…

I was rejected by a cartoon cereal mascot

By | Oct 26, 2012

Sun. 4:15 PM Sent off my fourth or fifth tweet to @RealCapnCrunch, the official, verified[1] twitter account of Captain Crunch. Yes, that Captain Crunch. The foremost naval commander of Quaker Oats cereals. He’s never responded to any of my tweets asking for an interview. This is worrisome. I have a bunch of followers who can see…

I was rejected by a cartoon cereal mascot

By | Oct 26, 2012

Sun. 4:15 PM Sent off my fourth or fifth tweet to @RealCapnCrunch, the official, verified[1] twitter account of Captain Crunch. Yes, that Captain Crunch. The foremost naval commander of Quaker Oats cereals. He’s never responded to any of my tweets asking for an interview. This is worrisome. I have a bunch of followers who can see…

Mangum-Gate 2012 Is The Internet’s Conspiracy Theory Of The Week

By | Oct 22, 2012

4chan, the infamous home base of the Internet’s id and all those who feed it, recently came up with something more substantive than generic rage comics and photoshops of anime cat girls in compromising positions with Margaret Thatcher. (Author’s note: I don’t know if such a .jpeg actually exists but, thanks to rule 34, it…

The Buttzine is a zine about butts

By | Oct 7, 2012

Do you have any idea how much porn there is on the Internet? No. You don’t. Mere mortals like yourself, dear reader, could not bear possessing comprehensive knowledge of the unfathomable amount of videos promising rabid penetration of barely-legal vacant-eyed coeds or the unthinkable decades an infinite and ever-expanding  stream of amateur porn comprises, endlessly…

A list of things Lindsay NoHANDS made me think and feel, plus an interview

By | Sep 26, 2012

Our blogger muses about a blog dedicated to pictures of Lindsay Lohan with her hands photoshopped off.

Why You’re Following @YourAwayMessage

By | Sep 25, 2012

Explaining why you’re following a twitter account you’re already following, and why 13 year old you was a terrible person.

Ron Paul’s Funeral City is the weirdest blog you’ll see this week

By | Sep 17, 2012

A blog dedicated to a cult that probably doesn’t exist sufficiently confuses our blogger.

The elusive common squirrel of the Twitter universe

By | Sep 9, 2012

Discussion of a hauntingTwitter account. Call her Ishmael.

Every word in the English language: the interview

By | Sep 5, 2012

A discussion on the Twitter account that tweets every word in the English language, one by one.