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Accuracy • Independence • Integrity

May 25, 2019   |   Ithaca, NY

Seed Is Sacred wants you to repent

By | Nov 15, 2012

Perhaps I’m jaded, because at first glance I figured @SeedIsSacred was some sort of atheist-created parody account. Who else would hop on Twitter and command other users to “repent” for making offhanded twitter comments about pleasuring themselves? Turns out, this guy. Seed Is Sacred has just over a hundred followers, but I couldn’t resist being…

Interview with a Common Squirrel

By | Nov 9, 2012

I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers. No, seriously. A big part of this “talking to weirdos on the Internet” job involves unearthing stranger’s personal email addresses and tweeting at people I’ve never met in the hopes they’ll waste twenty minutes of their life answering my questions. A surprising amount of people are completely…

I was rejected by a cartoon cereal mascot

By | Oct 29, 2012

Sun. 4:15 PM Sent off my fourth or fifth tweet to @RealCapnCrunch, the official, verified[1] twitter account of Captain Crunch. Yes, that Captain Crunch. The foremost naval commander of Quaker Oats cereals. He’s never responded to any of my tweets asking for an interview. This is worrisome. I have a bunch of followers who can…

I was rejected by a cartoon cereal mascot

By | Oct 26, 2012

Sun. 4:15 PM Sent off my fourth or fifth tweet to @RealCapnCrunch, the official, verified[1] twitter account of Captain Crunch. Yes, that Captain Crunch. The foremost naval commander of Quaker Oats cereals. He’s never responded to any of my tweets asking for an interview. This is worrisome. I have a bunch of followers who can see…

The elusive common squirrel of the Twitter universe

By | Sep 9, 2012

Discussion of a hauntingTwitter account. Call her Ishmael.

Every word in the English language: the interview

By | Sep 5, 2012

A discussion on the Twitter account that tweets every word in the English language, one by one.