Every Christmas we get ornaments to symbolize what we have accomplished during the year. Well, by every Christmas I mean we did this until I was 16, and then stopped because we had an extreme number of ornaments. It’s fun to go through them though, and see how I have progressed.

I have approximately 10 Winnie the Pooh and Barney ornaments. Then we get to actual activities, such as playing the recorder, graduating the eighth grade, studying abroad and so on.

Sitting with my parents watching Tosh.0 and discussing Heroin and Keith Richards, I decided to bring up ornaments, hoping to make the conversation about me.

“Dad, if you got an ornament this year, what would it be? What have you accomplished?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, I survived,” he said in a tired tone.

“What am I supposed to do with that, get you a check mark?” I said.

He switched the topic to Chiddy Bang, distracting me while he snuck upstairs to go to bed. Little did he know that I had recently taken a nap in his room, so my retainers and blanket were everywhere. That will show him to try and trick me.