Editor’s Note: This is a guest commentary. The opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

In my first year of high school at age 15, my dad died by suicide. As he was my primary guardian, I was left with my mom, who continues to struggle with addiction, and strangers, who offered their condolences but who I never heard from again. 

 At a young age, I was forced into adulthood riddled with not only my dad’s passing, but also with my mom’s addiction, owning my childhood home and being a landlord, all while trying to make it through high school. I hated when people would walk on eggshells around me, treating me like I was constantly about to break. What I wanted was to be perceived as strong and have everything be “normal.” 

Since the passing of my dad, I have become an avid volunteer and member of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). The discussion around mental health and suicide prevention is one that needs to be talked about more. We know there is a stigma around it, and yet we still make insensitive jokes about it. There needs to be more education surrounding mental health and solutions to helping those who are struggling. 

One of those solutions began with my love for the outdoors. Ever since I was little, I was exposed to outdoor activities. This included summer camps, fishing, skiing, cycling, hiking and so on. What I didn’t realize then was how going outside was going to save my mental health. 

 My hiking started small with local popular mountains in Lake George, New York. I would pick a random day and bring whatever friends were available. I had learned recently about the Adirondack 46ers in previous summers at YMCA Camp Chingachgook. These were hikers that had hiked all 46 of the high peaks in the Adirondacks. I knew that that was a group I wanted to be a part of. 

However, in the middle of my journey, I developed a panic disorder, attributed to still grieving my loss, having evicted my own family out of my house and testing positive for COVID-19. All of the anxiety that I had held in for the past four years had come to a head and started to manifest physically. By my 19th birthday, I was put on antidepressants, which were my last hope. 

 As soon as the summer of 2022 hit, I hiked my first high peaks — Cascade and Porter. By July, I was hiking almost twice a week and by the end of the month, I completed a total of 60 miles in the Adirondacks. Whether I realized it or not, I felt happier and removed from all of my problems when I was in the mountains. The challenge at hand was completing the hike, not if I was going to panic or be hit with a wave of grief. I hiked profusely until July 31, 2023, where I became 46er finisher #14988 on Mount Marcy, the highest Adirondack peak.

 When I get outside to hike, the constant anxieties that still run through me to this day begin to melt away. When I am spending at least eight hours in the woods, I become engrossed in the world around me. How far am I from the summit? Am I hydrated? Can I climb that rock? Can I feel my legs? At first, I’ll have difficulty breathing from my anxiety, but as the day goes on, I think about it less. The endorphins, dopamine and serotonin from such high-intensity hikes rush over me once we reach the summit. Honestly, nothing feels better than the euphoria our own bodies give us after exercising in nature. Sitting at the top and staring at the mountainous horizon makes my worries seem so small. I begin my hikes with a clouded head and end them with complete clarity every time.

 In my favorite podcast, The 46 of 46 Podcast, there is one episode that talks exactly about retreating to nature for healing or “wilderness therapy.” Rather than stewing in my thoughts at home, going outside is the healthy outlet that I am beyond grateful for. There needs to be a wider discussion around mental health, so there can be more conversations like this one without it feeling taboo. Exercising outdoors is just one of the many healthy ways we can heal ourselves from the inside out. Call me an adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker or an exercise addict, but hiking is what has carried me through the past six years of grief, anxiety, anger and frustration. I encourage anyone who is ever struggling to take to the outdoors and experience its healing properties. The Skye is the limit.