November 30, 2022
Ithaca, NY | 37°F


If you could play any sport, what would it be?

As I was housing gallons of water at lacrosse practice the other day, I thought of this blog (sick, right?). So, I’m standing there crushing this water wondering: If I could play any professional sport in the world, what would I play?

Naturally, my mind wavered over to football. Most fun I’ve ever had playing a sport. Then, I saw myself getting laid out by some 6’5” monster and my knees rolled up on by some torpedoing human. Nope. This guy is trying to see his kids graduate (read that link, scary — all for a game? Where’d the fun go…).

So, then I figured I wanted to have a boatload of cash so I could post up, drink beer (I’m 21 now, suckers) and captain a yacht on a lake house someday. Baseball. Not a bad choice, but such a grind playing 162 games a year there’s no way I’d cut it (would get to drink beer in the clubhouse, however).

I went through a ton of ideas (hockey would be alright because those guys look cool judging from 24/7, but I’d just want to be Henrik Lundqvist anyway; playing the low post and dunking on fools would be nice but I’m not trying to have Blake Griffin leap over me and stuff a ball on my face; soccer was my second choice option, but I like playing fairly, not fairy-ly) and it had to be golf.

How rewarding does it have to be to crush a wood 300-plus yards? Just watch that white thing soar, time after time. And getting paid serious $$ to walk some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world. And rock free clothes, join neato country clubs. Golf is the game. You’re not gulping down water bottles on the sidelines that’s for sure.

Note: Understand I write this a week after shooting a 121 on 18. I kid you not. Abysmal.