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Accuracy • Independence • Integrity

August 23, 2017   |   Ithaca, NY

Blogs

Cafeteria Couture

Hello beautiful readers. Welcome to “Odd Trends,” a blog in which the latest gadgets, crafts and fashions will be both lusted after and ruthlessly mocked (mostly the latter). I hope you stick with me through this semester full of interesting and ridiculous trends.

I figure, since school’s just resumed, I’ll first examine a school-related trend that’s been boggling my mind for the past few weeks.

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Back in the day, I got my swag on by walking through the elementary school cafeteria swinging a wrinkled brown paper lunch bag with my name effortlessly scrawled across it with permanent marker. Only the cool kids had packed lunches in brown paper bags where I came from. Eco-friendly reusable lunch boxes? So not cool. Plus, reusable ones got lost a lot, and whenever I had one it always ended up with some mystery stain that would never wash out and made me gag. Now that I’ve left you with that lovely image, enter the Picnic and Dinner Clutches.

Marie Turnor Accessories, based in SoCal, has gone where couture has never gone before: the cafeteria. But your lunch bag has never looked so chic. This time, it’s not really paper — it’s the “soft and supple” skin of an Italian calf. The Picnic Clutch ($175) is the smaller version of the bag designed to look like a lunch bag… Wear it with your white Marc Jacobs dress and a pair of Oscar de la Renta heels and you’ll be the belle of the dining hall.  Need more room for food in your everyday leather lunch bag clutch? Try the Dinner Clutch ($220)! It’s a larger version with an inside pocket (for your leather utensils and leather napkin, I’m guessing). If you get bored of the classic brown, the clutches also come in black, red, and white– this way, instead of your clutch mimicking a paper lunch bag, it’ll just look like a crumpled up piece of leather with your junk — I mean important and essential items — in it. This product is definitely a schoolgirl’s dream come true. Right, guys?

…Right?