February 1, 2023
Ithaca, NY | 21°F


A list of things Lindsay NoHANDS made me think and feel, plus an interview

Is this offensive?

-I don’t think so.

-These are pretty decent photoshops.

-It’s not offensive. It’s…raising awareness? Challenging the viewer? The act of someone with too much time on their hands?

-Why didn’t I think of this?

-Wow. She just doesn’t have hands there.

-Why aren’t there any amputee celebrities?

-Or celebrities with any missing body parts, for that matter?

-She’s still attractive, even without her hands. There could be a movie star without hands.

-Like in Godzilla. That would’ve been a better movie if Matthew Broderick didn’t have hands.

-Or the guy from the original Godzilla.

-What if Godzilla didn’t have hands?

-He’d still have fire breath.

-Lindsay Lohan might have fire breath. Man, how old is she?

-Is this good press for her?

-This might be offensive.

-This is genius.

I followed up with Steven Carey, a Brooklyn based writer, designer and, as his blog plainly displays, artist. We exchanged some rapidfire and just-barely-meaningful blog talk:

SK: Why Lindsay NoHands? What inspired you to start this project?
SC: My coworker Jamie Grandoff had a moment of inspiration. I think she said at the lunch table, “You know, if Lindsay Lohan didn’t have any hands, they’d have to call her Lindsay Nohands.” I immediately darted to my computer and started photoshopping.
SK: From an art student, sort of semiotic standpoint, what do you think the image of a digit-less Lohan says about our culture?
SC: In the words of Lucille Bluth, “I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.”
SK: Why hands? Why not lips or eyes or neck? For that matter, why Lindsay?
SC: It was really just a matter of the pun, the rhyming of Lohan and Nohands. It just made sense.
SK: Parent Trap or Mean Girls? Or Herbie: Fully Loaded? Perhaps you’re a Freaky Friday fan?
SC: Definitely Mean Girls.
SK: What has the response to the blog been, besides weird undergrads asking to interview you?
SC: I found that there was a small sect that was offended because they knew servicemen who had lost limbs overseas. They didn’t think being an amputee was something to joke about. That was an unexpected response but then I’m pretty sure that no matter what gets put on the internet there’s bound to be someone who finds it offensive. Otherwise it’s been very positive, mixed with grossed/weirded out.
P.S. I worked for my college weekly, too. One day this could be you! Cheers.
It could be me, Steven. it could be me.